Half this game is ninety percent mental.

Movdededed

2010-03-08T14:30:00.003-05:00

I'm ramping up my hosting efforts so point your browsers to the following for my most up to date current blog!

http://davecoblog.osilayer8.com

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probably the most meaningful song i've ever heard

2010-02-02T15:51:00.002-05:00

This song was possibly laying dormant in my mp3 collection for quite a while until i stumbled across it sometime close to graduating college. I'm not even sure how i found it in the first place; it was very much unlike any of the Ben Folds Five stuff at the time.

At any rate it's an example of music that wove itself into my life. 8 years later i am still taken back to that exact moment in time. I don't think there's much more powerful than that.

Ben Folds Five;
The Luckiest

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?
And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

Actually, we're from Katchacancan

2009-09-21T09:06:00.002-04:00

After a brief hiatus, i'm blogging again. Not going to apologize because, like i've said previously, the blog is a reflection of myself and myself sometimes stops (i just spelled stops with two 'p's...) doing things that i had formerly obsessed about.

One of the pivotal things i've come to realize about myself is that i'm horrible at narration. I have been working on a piece of blog for a few weeks now about my birthday (yes... back in june) and how awesome it was but i couldn't get the story to jive. It just couldn't get it to gel no matter how many times i proofread it.

So that's when i discovered that i'm a poor narrator. I give too much credit to the facts and accuracy due to my analytical job. I've always found that i collect too much info and too many extraneous facts when i need to troubleshoot something. But, you know, it's always served me right; i do a good job on my projects. The side effects are that i write a crappy story.

That being said, i am going to change up my format a little bit and do snippits of thought. I haven't posted in ages so i'm sure whatever regular readers i have are gone and won't notice the change. Its just a needed change and again parallels my life pretty well.

The other thing to notice is that i greased the pan with BEAR fat!

2009-07-10T11:23:00.001-04:00

I'm glad that i wrote about my weird day on the 22nd. I almost didn't, but something told me that it needed to be done. In hindsight i'm especially glad i wrote about it, and i'm mad that i wasn't able to amend the 22nd's odd post on the 22nd itself. Instead i'm playing catch up and have to write another entry to describe the rest of those events.

I left work with a feeling of anxiety. It was a cross between too much caffeine and that sinking feeling i left a very important stone unturned. Knowing the kind of day i was having i should have stopped, dropped, and rolled, but i guess i didn't think that would be too productive. So i left with this anxious sinking feeling to meet up with Angel at her parents' place. Things were moving along just fine and everyone was chatting it up in the living room. Angel's sister went outside for hang out, and her dad wasn't too far behind. A few minutes later Angel's dad comes into the living room asking if someone called the police. As i stood up to see what was going on; two marked police cars out in the street with one set of officers out talking to Britney.

As if that wasn't strange enough it turns out they gave Angel's dad a note that said, "Dr. Usebecki (not his real name)... 410 336 1099." All dad has to say is that the police told him to goto a hospital. He asked if St Agnes was okay and they told him yes.

I start to load up the car and tear off but something's telling me that i need to investigate a little better considering the cops didn't get the story over enough to satisfy my questions. By this time they were gone so i tried calling the Doc. No one is picking up at the 336 number so i called St Agnes. Turns out there is a Dr Usebecki and he's in surgery. I manage to dial in and get him while he's cutting someone's pancreas out (?) and he has no idea what i'm talking about. He does tell me that the 336 is a Univ. of MD exchange and i should probably call over there. When i hang up Angel's dad remembers that his primary care doc is out of Univ of MD and some tests were done a week ago.

Still not able to rouse anyone on the 336 number me and him head to the ER. About 2 hours later we get to see a triage nurse who cannot find anything about the mysterious note. She is persistent though and does all the triage-type tests including a blood sugar. Guess what? His blood sugar is through the roof.

Shortly afterward she's able to put a few things together and finds the root cause of the mysterious visit. Angel's dad has a series of blood tests done the previous week and his blood glucose levels came back abnormally high (like, 600 high). When the lab/doctor/hospital wasn't able to get a hold of him they sent out the police.

We sat in the ER until about midnight (it's memorial day weekend, remember?) and had to leave. He went back the next day and they admitted him overnight for testing. Turns out he's a diabetic (all of a sudden), and we found out at the last possible moment of my weird day.

This post not safe for work (or being watched)

2009-07-01T10:19:00.005-04:00

Seriously... this is a ground breaking blog post and i might wind up repeating it periodically.

But it isn't safe for little eyes, prying eyes, or eyes that are condescending and judgmental.

A few questions:
·What's the high level purpose here?
·How do you think she wants you to feel when you look at her?
·Is this (maybe more importantly... why is this) important to her?
·Do you think she's a real vegan?

So at any rate i'm very interested in speaking to this woman. If you know her please pass that along.

That's most likely a fiber channel SAN

2009-06-18T10:46:00.000-04:00

I don't know if it's the company i keep lately or the fact that i've come to a place in my life that makes me this way, but i notice that i am pretty edgy and quick to sour my mood. Much quicker than i was a few years ago. I think some of it has to do with realizing certain things about the workplace. I'm less enchanted with the dynamics and less enamored with a job well done.

The other thing figuring into the mix is my family. They are the perfect reflection of myself. Without trying they've become my comfortably broken in Lazy Boy. They fit me perfectly and give me exactly what i need. They've filled such a gap in my life that it could be my attitude is just quicker to sour when i'm not around them. Things at work or situations when i'm out at a bar (for instance!) pale in comparison to the richness of my family experience. I think i'm beginning to realize that and mature a little bit into the family role. Speeding and road rage, competition, grueling at the workplace, and things like prestige, toys, and money all seem trifling insignificant. That's not to say i still don't NEED my STI to keep me sane after a bad day of work though... I love that car...

I think people start to slow down and become cookie cutter versions of their previous self as they age and when we do manage to realize that we're belly deep in a new experience it's much more jolting and life changing than when we were young. I personally have realized that there are certain things i took for granted while i was younger that i can't draw from these days. Youth is indeed wasted on the young and experience is squandered on the old.

For my random quote of the day; stolen from Wikipedia in regards to hypnotism. If you take the time to read this carefully and understand what they're saying it's pretty interesting in that the whole process built around placebo is pretty much nullified. This could be one of those examples of an argument that is able to help bridge the gap between science and religion.

Skeptics point out the difficulty distinguishing between hypnosis and the placebo effect, proposing that the state called hypnosis is so heavily reliant upon the effects of suggestion and belief that it would be hard to imagine how a credible placebo control could ever be devised for a hypnotism study.[5]

However, hypnotism itself originated out of very early placebo controlled experiments, conducted by Braid and others. Many researchers and clinicians would therefore object that hypnotic suggestion is explicitly intended to make use of the placebo effect, e.g., Irving Kirsch has proposed a definition of hypnosis as a "non-deceptive mega-placebo", i.e., a method which openly makes use of suggestion and employs methods to amplify its effects. It is therefore surprisingly difficult to distinguish between the views of skeptics and proponents regarding hypnotism.

Today; well let's just say i'm waiting for a piece of sky to hit my head.

2009-05-22T09:00:00.000-04:00

I've deemed today a weird day right around 7 this morning. It started when i sleep smiled at Angel while we were both getting up. The weird part wasn't that i was sleep smiling, but that she actually opened her eyes at just the right time. Then, as i was fueling up the car one those those huge F350 dual cab trucks pulls in complete with tint, 8 foot lift, and chrome trim. Throw in some Tony Braxton blasting (no kidding) and i took pretty quick notice. The thing had a great system (not just the bass), and he must have been playing a CD because i was impressed at the sound from across the parking lot. I couldn't help glancing over at the truck (while the owner was in the store getting who-knows-what), and was scratching my head figuring out what kind of person would drive a truck like this and leave the music blasting while they were out of sight of the thing.

Turns out it was a geeky white guy with those 'not quite cargo' cargo shorts, white tennis shoes (that Mr Irvin wore in high school gym class), and socks pulled up to his calves. Coke bottle glasses included of course.
After seeing that i've decided that today is going to be a weird day. And, in light of that i'm putting together a blog post that is equally out of the normal format.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”
Mary Anne Radmacher

I stumbled across that quote from another blog i enjoy reading. It's written by a girl who lives in Alaska with another girl friend who is very much in tune with the land. The author makes an honest effort to be like her cabin mate and the situation produces some pretty interesting and introspective discussion.

Ever since i started this job i've had a hand-me-down clock in my office that i'm not sure what to do with. The really interesting part is it seems to have been manufactured by a company named "Time Square." Interestingly enough the clock is round. Putting aside the humor or coincidence here, i'm pretty sure the company that makes these clocks approved someone's tongue-in-cheek joke at one point in the process.

My boss is never late. In fact, he manages to normally work a longer day than i do. He's punctual, always creates shared calendar entries for out sick/leave/scheduled time, etc. However this morning his truck wasn't in the parking lot, his office was dark, and i had no Outlook reminders that he was out of office when i got in. He called a few mins ago saying he was getting on 95 and proved to be immune to my questioning.

A few weeks ago i saw a bumper sticker that i couldn't make any sense of. You know those little sayings that you heard when you were a kid that just didn't make sense? That was me when i saw this thing. I tried to make a note to blog about it, but of course i went home to get high (kidding of course. Anyone with kids will tell you that walking into a house with dinner made and two kids waiting for you will say that your memory of the day's events go out the window) and forgot all about it.

I remembered it yesterday whilst stuck in traffic (wouldn't surprise me if my car was in the exact same place it was when i saw the damn thing). Of course yesterday i couldn't remember the exact wording, but my own version made sense. The version in my head said something like, "If you don't trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a child." So that makes sense, right? It's a pro-choice bumper sticker and because i'm pro-choice (just skip over an implications of that sentence that don't have anything to do with my point) it made perfect sense.

The odd part is that when i saw the bumper sticker it just wasn't clear. The first thing i thought was, "which was is this thing trying to get me to sway?" Not such a hot sticker in my opinion. All sentiments aside my take-home point here is that bumper stickers are just like advertising and if you don't get it within 10 seconds the advertising firm that created you ad has failed. It could also be that i just wasn't receptive to the wording.

Did you know Excedrin has 65mg of caffeine in each pill? I normally take two of these and didn't realize that i'm getting a RedBull and a half.

Three wheel motion. Oh my gosh!

2009-05-05T09:50:00.000-04:00

This week's selection is the finale of a three part chapter and i think i inadvertently saved the best for last. This week i'm testing the original Syzmo.

Just like it's 'flavored' counterparts it's lightly carbonated and uses certified organic ingredients. Being the company's first swaré into the energy drink field it tastes pretty remeniscent to RedBull but with a few key (and welcome) differences.

The first thing you'll notice is the aroma (again!), and in this aspect it could be RedBull's hot sister. It's almost identical, but reminds you of a blonde when you want a brunette or vis-versa. The next piece of the experience is the taste and here is where you know you're getting the playboy model version. It drinks like a soda with only a mild hint of energy drink noxiousness. Enough tart to make you take another drink, and enough sweet to cover any traces of caffeine bitterness. It's got a faint medicine taste depending on your mood, but it's much lower on the cough-syrup meter than RedBull.

I was going to say, "The neat thing about the Original version of Syzmo is that it retains that tell tale agave flavor," but it's actually the reverse. The Passion and Prickly Pear version retain the Original's hint of flavor. Not having ever tasted agave by itself i can't really say this is the agave flavor coming through, but there is definitely a low level hint of something that is consistent throughout the product line. The difference here is that it lends itself to the good taste experience with the Original. Looking back i think they missed this mark with the Passion line.

I would buy the original version of Syzmo again. In fact, it may be a better choice than Prickly Pear. I'm not sure i'd completely give up pear however. I don't think this would replace RedBull either. RedBull is still a good, solid contender in the energy drink field and has its place in an experienced drinker's line up. Syzmo just makes it work a little harder for the money.

This is a drink that i'd buy for my brother. He may even like it more than RB.

Chikka bang bang

2009-04-28T11:17:00.001-04:00

This week's selection is part two in our three part series. Up for review this week; Syzmo Prickly Pear.

Just like it's Passion counterpart it's lightly carbonated and uses certified organic ingredients. In fact, the ingredient list is just about the same. I guess the prickly pear juice isn't organic or falls under 'natural flavors.' Unlike it's Passion counterpart it doesn't taste like dirt and it's an awfully good drink.

This one has a more subdued 'green' flavor that is almost like watered down Mountain Dew with the carbonation still intact. It's an interesting experience and makes for easy chugging. Prickly Pear starts out with a little tart kick in the back of your throat, but it finishes nicely without any bitterness. It leaves behind a hint of processed pear flavor (for lack of a better term), but i can't really do it justice because it's fairly light towards the end.

The other thing about the Syzmo line of drinks is because they use agave syrup for sweetening they are low on the glycemic index scale. What does this mean? It means you don't get the sugar crash associated with other sugared energy drinks because your body handles these carbohydrates more gracefully and they have overall less impact in your blood sugar levels. It's like drinking a diet soda without the nasty sugar-substitute!

I would buy this version of Syzmo again. It's a good balance of 'natural' taste and energy drink. It's not nearly as tart as a RedBull and seems to pack more punch.
This is a drink that i'd buy for my brother. It's got enough flavor to keep him interested, but i dunno if he'd go for another one.

2009-04-20T08:30:00.000-04:00

Bringing back the caffeine review of the week! (turning my drafts into legit. posts)

Today's caffeine review of the week begins a three part series. In this series i'll be reviewing the Syzmo line of energy drinks. What makes the Syzmo line unique is two fold. First, they are completely organic; USDA certified. Second,
they use blue agave for their sweetener. There's absolutely no mention of sugar, corn syrup, fructose, sucrose, sucralose, yourmomsawhoreose, etc in the ingredients.

Up for review today: Syzmo Passion drink.
The first thing you'll notice about this guy is it's distinct, aromatic, ... uh... aroma. It's leans heavily towards the pine/woody. Depending on your level of pregnancy you may be turned off immediately. I ate some plain potato chips as a palate cleanser and i didn't want to have anything to do with these flavors. A little while later i was starving and it's going down like fine wine.
Once you get past the aroma you'll notice how strong a role smell plays in the the sensation of flavor. You can 'taste' the pine. There's also some flavor of dirt mixed in there (albeit delicate). This is, after all, an organic drink (i know being organic doesn't have anything to do with the dirt flavor).

Syzmo Passion finishes cleanly without any bitterness of caffeine or that noticeable taurine tang. The light small-bubble carbonation is invigorating and makes these types of energy drinks my clear replacement for morning coffee. Speaking of coffee all of the Syzmo lines use coffee fruit which my research shows isn't some magical way to add caffeine. In fact, it's there for flavor in this case. Also included in the ingredient list is Yerba Mate; another caffeine adding compound. This one is definitely there for the caffeine add. You'll also see organic green tea and guaranna in that list.

I've tried to do research into how much caffeine is actually in the 12oz can, but evidently the manufactures are pleading the 5th. I think that's odd because of the thorough disclosure of certified organic ingredients. Normal reviews put it around 120mg/can, but i have my doubts. I think this is closer to the 200mg/12oz level, but that's just my butt-dyno estimate.

I wouldn't buy the Passion version of this drink again. As for the the others Syzmo is offering... well... you'll have to wait until next week. BTW, I haven't found any place local that stocks any of the Syzmo line. Every time i've wanted some i've had to mail order.
This is a drink that i'd buy for my brother, but only to see how he reacts to the dirt flavor. He might surprise me and love it.

Plan for performance, and capacity takes care of itself. Plan for capacity, and suffer poor performance.

2009-04-14T13:10:00.001-04:00

I had an interesting wiki-trek this morning and it inspired me to write (i'm patenting wiki-trek by the way... i have to before goddamn Al Gore does!). I can't remember what i initially searched on but i wound up looking at Andy Kaufman (didn't know he died at 35) and then Taxi, and then Jim Ignatowski. My mom used to make it a point to watch Taxi and i remember enjoying the experience too. Then when i realized that Doc Brown from Back to the Future was the same guy my 8 year old gears started to turn.
While i was reading that wiki article i started to get goosebumps because i always liked the character. I didn't realize it at the the time, but he didn't seem to get enough air time for me to really realize what a powerful character he was. Lloyd's character was so strong in fact, he was ranked 32 on TV Guide's 50 greatest TV characters of all time. That's really saying something for the series as well as the game Christopher Lloyd brought to the table. I'm not going to dirty the experience by blogging about it in depth though. Read the article and let your mind do some memory surfing.

I woke up this morning singing that stupid Jason Mraz song, "I'm Yours." It's not really stupid; that's not fair. It's actually a really good song. When i got to work i busted out the You Tube and watched some live unplugged performances, and i was really impressed. The guy has some serious stage presence and you can tell his attitude goes along with his songs. At the expense of some bromance jokes, i think the guy would be a lot of fun to hang out with.

I look at the ground to appreciate the clouds.

2009-04-06T10:04:00.006-04:00

Recently I've had the unique (and admittedly scary) experience of interacting with someone who has lost their faith.

I'm not a religious person (even when hell and brimstone start falling from the sky), but i have come to terms that i'm a requisite spiritual believer. I've had 20 years to construct a spiritual support system that works for me, and has proven to hold stead-fast in the 'tragedies' I've had to date. Each time, mind you, my beliefs have changed just a little bit. I think a successful take on religion should mirror man kind; change is a requirement. It's our inherent ability to make mistakes and learn from them that has made us so successful. Why should the process of understanding religion be any different?

I'm not sure how to start the story. A good beginning of a story can do amazing things, but i don't have the skills right to muster a theatrical opening.

This person in question was raised Catholic, but I feel always felt like there was more. I never had an explicit conversation about it so i can't elaborate too much. The person had a historical interest in Noah (how the literal was tied to the biblical version) and the like but never expressed a true belief to anyone. That's not to say that this person didn't inwardly believe them though.

This person just recently experienced the death of a person very close to them. The experience had shaken their faith so badly that it fell apart. Not only was this person left without the touch of a loved one but was also left without the support of a significant faith structure. I believe fully that if this person had a faith system that was actively cultured, nourished, and most importantly tested over time instead of a 'cookie-cutter' faith from a book or church group they would be in much better shape than they currently are.

Now with their shaken faith, this person expects angels to appear at the foot of their bed. They (for lack of a better pronoun) want to hear voices and visions and dreams to reinforce the faith. There's no active participation in this person's faith; only one-sided expectations. It seems as though in default of a crumbled religion the text book version takes over. When does this ever work? When your car is making a funny noise and blows a tire it's not going to get better by itself on the side of the road, right? Well, at least not without some kind of intervention. I'll leave the perceived 'miracle' implications out of this scenario for a later blog post.

I think that any enduring faith has the same fundamentals as human interaction as a whole. Only in rare cases do things fall in just the right way making the situation effortless. More often than not it is the struggling efforts and opportunism of the people involved that are responsible for a good outcome. I think faith mirrors this very well. The people that express the most content with faith are those that are actively involved with its cultivation. The examples of situations working out for the positive because someone sat on their butt are few and far between.

Closing on a light hearted note:
Today's picture of the day post thingie...

fampics.osilayer8.com

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tracert only allows you to select a UDP dest-port

2009-03-26T13:04:00.003-04:00

In a slight spin-off deflection move i've managed to tackle a project i setup in my previous blog post without actually going through the steps outlined in that post. The interesting part is that the subject matter didn't come from Twitter, Flickr, Linkedin, or Facebook. It came from my boss. All that posting about social networking sites giving colleagues ideas and BAM! inspiration comes from a completely opposite form of media.

My boss is an old school linux guru so it always struck me as odd that as a hosted/colo company we never offered a web hosting package on linux/php/apache. It's always been IIS/asp. We finally had a customer that paid a lot of money for a some php work and when they tried to publish it on the shared IIS/asp site it showed up on the radar pretty quickly. So after a week or so my boss had a shared linux web host up and in production. He used 'testing' as an excuse to finally create his own web page using php and as a side project found some open source php photo album code to implement. He brought it over to me and said, "I know how you like to tinker so i figured i'd show you this." It was pretty cool but didn't use any database program so the hierarchy, grouping, etc was done at the OS level.

So earlier this week my gears started turning full spin and i realized that i needed an outlet for photos. I mean, i had kicked around Flickr or google's picasa but those services are just too public for me. I run an IIS host at the house which i've managed to load php on (a phpbb bulletin board in production for my dad's gun shop) and figured that this was the next logical step in my own hosted environment.

Not content with the program my boss brought to the table i went on a search for other open source php albums and stumbled across phpalbum (surprise, right?). That proved to be too simplistic and when i found out it was written by a Frenchie i abandoned the project. Deciding to tackle Gallery's more complicated setup i dove in and was awarded with an awesome solution.

Take a swing over to FamPics.osilayer8 to check it out. I think this is going to be my permanent replacement for Picasa and the Flickr solutions out there.

So what? I'm still a rockstar!

2009-03-22T15:16:00.002-04:00

One of the neat situations to arise from professional networking sites like Linkedin, Pipl, ZoomInfo, etc is the pchance to see what your colleges are working on. Before these sites became in vogue colleague collaboration was limited to word of mouth, or uncomfortable gatherings with coffee, bruschetta, and box lunches (with the obligatory long winded or poorly envisioned presentations lasting all day). Now a days i can see what solutions my colleges are looking towards in addition to the positive gains realized by networking in general. I get all these benefits with a comparatively small amount of 'fat' to sift through.

In reading through some notes of a web developer friend of mine i saw him respond to a question posed by another user with regards to an open source web development software package. After reading through the tread of other users' responses i am walking away with a project to put up at osilayer8.com, AND a possible solution to get a certain family business web site monkey off my back. Amazing, huh? If only this could be done with cars... software is so easy.

That being said it starts my wheels yet again turning to grind my own business. Working with a company like i work for now i'm able to see a lot of the sales side of things and it's yet again amazing how much trust customers place in vendors. I'm also learning that delicate art of not saying too much. One of the things that i've always done as an admin is tell the whole story; bad practice when i'm billing per hour. Not necessarily wrong... just bad practice. I still have a vendetta against not telling the whole story in a 'bad way.' I just won't do it.

I'm moving more towards the pay-per-click business model. There's a lot of money to be made in the brokerage of services (and even products it seems although that's much more delicate) and here at the D we have entire job positions that subsist on brokerage. Seems like i've uncovered a small nugget of information that i need to chew on a little bit. It's not nearly as exciting as a 'guns blazing, money exhausted, peanut butter and jelly eating, start up money finding' business start up but then again that's probably not real conducive with my current life position anyway.

Oh yeah, so anyways I'm thinking about leveraging one of the technologies that my college has used to start a blog server (or some type of collaberation site) and use this blog as the guinnea pig operation. Of course Blogger probably does a lot of things better than i could hope to setup, but it'll be a neat experiment and hopefully i'll walk away a little more in tune with my direction.

Half way between the gutters and the stars... well, actually more towards the stars in this case.

2009-03-19T11:51:00.004-04:00

THIS is the coolest thing i've seen in a long while. Even cooler than my router-on-a-stick post a few days ago.

You know, some people grew up on farms and blew stuff up and shot potato guns around. Some people grew up in the city and walked around at midnight drinking 40s on the street (i was the former so i dunno what city kids do for fun). Some people become professional students and some people enjoy being a welder. In any of these examples people have thier own version of the ultimate hobby that just never comes to fruition. Those kids in the article above actually made possible the dream of a lot of people. Their success, to me, is unimaginable. Take a read and you be the judge.

On a different note 98Rock had Ed Hale on their show this morning and amidst Mickey's gloating about some stupid ass tennis game he won Ed had some great things to say about the banking industry. I really enjoy listening to that guy but i don't know if its because he's such a tolerant diamond in the rough on that show or if it's just because he's so charismatic. Either way it's a great time to buy stock in the First Mariner Bank parent company NASDAQ:FMAR

Wandering for the sake of wandering.

2009-03-10T15:30:00.006-04:00

Lately i've been struggling with my current career position. For numerous reasons i was thinking that this wasn't the place i'm destined to call home, and yet when i say that half of me feels like it's not true. I can list as many examples of job enjoyment as i can job 'determent' if you will.

I had a thought just now in the bathroom (hey, it's either there or in traffic!) that i think i would call an epiphany. If not it at least qualifies for the same significance as any other deeply introspective thought that i've had about myself.

In every other job, and i mean every job i've ever had i've had a personal investment, and this allowed me to have fun at that job. I could center myself with the position because i could get close and then give 100% of myself to it. I think i have my need to feel comfortable enough with the position to afford some stability and that stability equates to passion. I'm not really doing a good job of getting my thoughts across on this one because all i want to do is give examples of what i see and not explaining why. This is something i'll talk about later because it seems to be a big deal for me.

So here i am and with this realization i understand that for whatever reason i don't have the intimacy here that i've always had. Understanding that leads me to grasp the next point; my business. I take passion in tinkering enough to start my own business and that process is the surrogate for my normal daily job. It also explains why i struggle with staying here. I don't have the concrete around my feet that i've always had. It explains why i slack so much and cherry pick my projects. I want to do something that rouses my passion.

Right around the time i'm zipping up (i'm at the urinal, remember?) i start understanding how to hold on to this job (because, after all it's a good job and there are things here that i like). I need to bump up my extracurriculars more at home. Normally i never put emphasis on diving, cars, family, camping, whatever. I didn't have to because onceor twice a season was perfectly fine. Now i need that stuff to balance out the things i don't get from my job. This of course means that i'm not as available to the job as i would otherwise be with a vested interest in the organization, and my priorities are a little different than they've ever been. This is probably more conducive to my new family however. At the very least it's a change that has come my way and i am anxious to take the journey.

Behead those who say behead those who oppose Islam!

2009-03-08T08:46:00.004-04:00

A few months ago i wrote that i was noticing my dreams were more vivid. Not that i was dreaming anything special; just that they were very vivid. And, if i remember correctly this started happening right around the season change.
Well guess what? It's happening again. This is the fourth straight night/morning in a row where i had a dream so vivid and clear it seemed to be lucid.

I had a dream the other night that someone (i can't remember who) had a Lamborghini Murcielago in pasadena and i got to drive it. I drove that thing from my house up Lake Shore to Stedman point and back and i have to say that i was disappointed. I know that's ridiculous, but my point here is that the dream was so clear that i remember all kinds of things about it. I even remember being conscious enough to make a point to do things that i'd remember; same as if i was awake and involved in a new experience.

Last night (or early this morning) i dreamt that i was back at drownproofing at the Annapolis swim center for a baby shower how i-dunno-who. I clearly remembered people's faces from middle and early high school. Then somehow the dream transitioned to an older swanky bar with the same people. I was having a really good time sitting with Angel and hanging out with people that i hadn't seen in forever. Remember those heavy textured red oil lamps that used to be at Pizza Hut? Those were there too.

I don't know what's going on, but it's repeatable; i have them every morning. And its to the point where i ignore my alarm and want to keep sleeping. I thought it was caused by sleeping with our windows open, but last night everything was closed up and the heater was on.

Anyone else?

Host DOWN alert for ODEPA-CPE!

2009-03-05T10:25:00.003-05:00

One of the nice things i've been able to do since leaving the C is the involvement with some very interesting technical projects. Projects that are becoming to a datacenter and not necessarily someone working as an admin for a business.

One of these projects that has really captured my attention and driven me to tinker is routing protocols. Sure, at a senior level position who's been in the business for years OSPF, RIP, and your fat momma BGP aren't that interesting, but you can clearly see the sparkle in my eye. Adding to the interest are the old fashioned technologies that are being reinvented in different ways (especially hardware wise in the virtualization world). I came across THIS yesterday while googling some configs, and found it to be an unbelievable example of a router-on-a-stick (and a way to make little Stevie Jobs go crazy with the ensuring license fee ramifications). Expanding on the ROAS idea is the fact that they are doing BGP with the same mac device.

I guess that's what Apple gets for standing behind a linux kernel, huh?

On a side note, i'm incredibly sick and unmotivated. Every time i move my head the junk catches up in there and i feel a pulsing modulating glob of snot smash around in my head.

nine, ten, never goto sleep again

2009-02-27T20:01:00.002-05:00

Okay... that's kind of an ominous title but i'm watching one of the Nightmare on Elm st movies and it's making me scared to go into the dark datacenter.

Ever since my Zune choked on the extra day in the 2008 year i have appreciated how much i like this little brown doobie. Adding to the enjoyment has been my collection of movies that i managed to load on it. It came in very handy throughout Angel's pregnancy and (sadly) my mom's hospital visits. Now it's coming in handy as i sit here in my office chair watching little 1's and 0's stream across a progress bar for one of the countless customer environments i do high level work for. Sounds important, huh?

It can't hold a candle to just 20 seconds of hearing Olivia laugh or Layla suck down a bottle.

Things are so different since having our kids. And those feelings have gotten stronger even if i don't know how to explain them. The balance is so much finer and delicate now, but in the same breath things are more solid, concrete, and periodic.

Change gears to something much more fun. Evidently Mario Kart has been ranked the most influential video game in history. It manage to best tetris, Super Mario Brothers, Final Fantasy VII (my undisputed #1), and a host of others. Actually, ALL others, but that's beside the point.
I guess it doesn't really surprise me when i remember back on the countless hours of screaming at a dorm room full of other guys with Donkey Kong going, "OOoo OOoo" and Wario going, "HERE I GOOO!" shooting shells at each other. Other than a good game of Quake i can't remember having as much fun. So, congrats Nintendo... seems that you're doing very well across the curve.

The Emperor Nero was playing a fiddle, so they burned Rome

2009-02-23T08:35:00.003-05:00

I have been obsessed with Facebook, and like any obsession, I didn't realize that it was obsession until i quit it. Even now saying it was an obsession seems creepy, but it's true. I've been sober for a few days now and i can tell you that i'm more attentive to my family and more productive at work.
At first it seemed like a great networking tool. In fact, i found people that i hadn't talked to in years; years guys. I don't know when it started to be disruptive, but in my current state of mind it wasn't hard to get me too involved and knock my entire day upside down.

So i've decided to start working on the blog again. It's so much more mature and introspective. I guess that's why blogging isn't so popular. It's like watching TV vs reading the newspaper i guess.

Back to the original intention of this blog; to spark up some thought.

I've been involved with scanning and digitizing a huge amount of the Nowicki family pictures and videos and i've been in that certain mood where people are receptive to deeper thoughts that they normally wouldn't be. I had a pretty deep thought that i'm still not sure if it was spurred by the nostalgia or just my mood in general.

Everyone knows how they feel when they look at a childhood picture from the 80's (or any era for that matter). The picture is brown, the furniture is tacky and brown, the people seem clueless and innocent, etc, etc... Well guess what? That's a picture of yourself when you were 3, right? And now 20 years later you're looking at it going, "What the hell were we thinking?"

Imaging your little baby doing the same thing in 20 years to a picture of him/her self today. Think you'll be as brown and tacky?

Dissent is Patriotic

2009-01-02T09:25:00.000-05:00

Happy holidays everyone! I'm wrapping up the holiday season by working.. Happy Happy! Actually it's not so bad. I've got a game of Diablo planned, and i'll probably wrap up the day dressing some stray cables in the data center. Don't laugh! I find it pretty therapeutic.

What's the one thing that products like the Zune, iPod, and even smartphones require? Well you don't want to load all those 8 megapixel jpgs on there, right? Invariably i wind up needing to resize a bunch of jpgs, and with the amount of pictures the digital family takes these days Photoshop is just way too slow. I know from experience... waaay too slow.

So I've been waiting a looong time for some kind of bulk jpg resizer, and MS did a pretty fair job of pulling it off. The program integrates in to the shell so it shows up in the right click menu, AND it gives you a choice of size. It's too bad it doesn't prompt for the re sampling method that a program like Photoshop does. But, hey if that's the only complaint then i think they did a pretty good job. It's from Microsoft so i feels just like Winders and you don't have to worry about spyware/malware that you would otherwise have to with countless trialware from downloads.com

Today's cool technology tip!

And without further adeu; This week's caffeine review.
This time i'm working with the (fairly) new Amp Energy Shot.

Before i got to chugging i googled around to see what the caffeine content is on this guy. Currently there's a war raging in the caffeine/energy drink realm and it has to do with drinks vs 'energy suppliments.' Evidently if a beverage is labeled as a nutritional suppliment they don't have to list the caffeine content. Take a look at a can of mountain dew or the like and you'll see the mg/ml value on there.

After googling around i couldn't find out a good value for the caffeine in this little guy. Most sources say ~80 mg but if you look closely on the label there's another line for guarana seed extract (which has a high percentage of caffeine in and unto itself). Looks like i'm going to have to go at this blindly.

Like most energy shots this one isn't carbonated. Unlike other energy shots this one uses sugar. I'm a big fan of sugar by the way. I loathe sugar substitutes, and the Amp Energy shot does a fairly good job at sweetening it's brew. You can taste the bitterness of the caffeine on the down slide, but there doesn't seem to be much lingeration. That could be because of the sugar use, or it could be because there really isn't that much caffeine in this guy. I'm going to go with the latter.

The taste is like flat Mountain Dew with just a hint of funkyness. The flavor wasn't overpowering like a Jolt! Energy shot and i found i could sip it pretty easy. This would be an interesting candidate for a new type of RedBull bomb.

My energy didn't seem to skyrocket after drinking it. I did notice the cerebral clearing of my head and i got through some of this documentation on my desk without being sidetracked and thinking about playing Diablo instead.

I wouldn't buy this again; although i purchased two out of the gate. At around $3 each it's a little pricey and is easily replaced by something more fun and bubbly (like the new 16oz mountain dew cans!)
This isn't something that i would pass to my brother. I think it would be too bland for him and while he'd probably pick up on the caffeine and zing, there's better stuff out there.

Ho Ho HO!!

2008-12-26T14:24:00.003-05:00

Turns out Angel and I spent Christmas eve in the ER at St. Agnes. She was on her way to work Wednesday and about a minute after I heard the front door shut my cell phone rang. It was one of those *sniff* PAUSE *snif* calls and after what seemed like an eternity she managed to choke out, "I fell."
The room spun a little and i jumped into a pair of jeans and barefoot into my tennis shoes. Just as i opened the front door i saw the ice on the stairs, but Angel was standing up next to her car. She started to say something about the ice and as she finished saying who-knows-what (i shouldda listened to her) i found myself falling on the same stairs. I had the benefit of knowing ahead of time there was ice. My poor wife however was caught completely off guard and fell whilst 8 month pregnant AND loaded with gifts.
I tore up my arm a little and would notice some shoulder pain the next day, but i only had one goal and that was to get to my wife. I sprang back up and got to her just in time to help her sit in the car. She was all kind of banged up but she could feel the baby moving and hadn't fallen on her belly. Her outside thigh and rump (...in the butt-OCKS) got beat up pretty bad though. She felt good enough to head to work but decided that she would get to the ER if she felt uneasy about the baby, and she looked well enough to make me feel okay with the decision too.
I scrambled back up the killer steps and got ready for work. In the 10 mins between throwing salt on the steps and walking out with Olivia don't you know everything had melted? I'll never again underestimate how much can be done in 10 minutes.
So right around 8am i was dropping Olivia off at the sitters and Angel sends me a txt message. She's laying down at her moms because she hurts too much to keep driving to work. Looks like it's a trip to the ER for us.
Long story short; don't ever go to an emergency services place around the holidays. It's horrible... even if you're pregnant and fell down some steps. We even tried to escape, but got busted because Angel wasn't quick enough (can't blame her though!)
We did have some amazing bonding time whilst stuck in purgatory. There was great conversation about stupid stuff, serious stuff, and even some goofy stuff thrown in. We took a nap together, we reminisced about dating, we talked about Laila... it all reminded me that i have met my soulmate and how fortunate i really am.

So everything turned out okay and i got a free day out of work. Angel's waddling around as expected and now about a week later the pain has calmed down somewhat. She still struggles with some motions and you can tell when she's so frustrated at being essentially incapacitated. It's definitely one of those times that i wish she could sit the belly on a counter somewhere and let me take over.

Today's random pic comes from the Nabisco Swampgas playset.

I need the bugger so i can see!

2008-12-22T10:51:00.000-05:00

So instead of my 'once a week caffeine review to keep me blogging' tactic actually working I've noticed that it hasn't helped, and in some situations it's made things worse. I now have 10 drafts of caffeine reviews that haven't been published and after looking at all of these i realize i haven't made a legitimate post in almost three weeks. I guess it's a good thing that i haven't started my own business.

One thing i have been doing is reading a few other blogs out there. I've been a fan of a few people for months and they seem to be doing well, so i decided it was time again to get motivated. Diligent readers will notice that I've beefed up my gadgets and doo-dads on the right side there. If google can keep the momentum up on blogging by adding new stuff then i can't be completely wrong with introducing new shtick as well, right? I'll keep to the caffeine blog for now and just say that I've been super busy. Generating posts for my blog that I'm proud of takes the back burner. Of course that's a glaring contraindication to this rambling post.

In what I'm sure is one of the few cases of internet people connection usefulness i managed to run across someone that i thought i would never see again. Dustin from Rec Sports! This guy was that jock that everyone knew around campus and the guy that made going to intramurals actually fun. Not like i have a lot of history with him (other people could tell you his favorite color for instance), but he was a friend and someone i respected and yet another example of that type of person finding their way back into my life.

It went like this. This guy i knew from high school (whom i really didn't want to have any contact with cause he was kind of a douche in high school) requested me for a friend on Facebook. I made a conscious decision to add him after thinking about it for a while. I couldn't tell you why i decided to add him though... except for maybe knowing something like this would happen. Then, a few days later i noticed he was tagged in a photo with two guys from HS that went to UMBC. The kicker was that Dustin was the guy who posted the picture! I requested him as a friend and the next thing you know he tagged me in pictures of a day camp from YEARS ago. I got chills at how small the world has become.

Two caffeine reviews this week!

This week's caffeine content review is looking at Bawls Cherry.

This Bawls product comes in a 16 oz can with the destinctive bumps (real bumps on the blue bottle, painted bumps on the can) that are associated with the Bawls line. Unlike the regular Bawls drink this concoction touts a cherry flavor and it doesn't disappoint.
I swear manufactures are able to make the carbonation bubbles different sizes. Bawls seems to consistently have tiny little bubbles that give a different sensation inside your mouth. The actual carbonation level is medium with more 'head' (like a traditional soda) than other energy drinks.

The Bawls finish dry in the mouth with a lingering light cherry taste (that's sooo intended). At 100mg of caffeine there's no aftertaste and the high is mellow and possibly subdued. The can is labeled 'High Caffeine Guarana...' but i can't vouch for it's power. This is barely over 1 serving of Redbull and takes the user 16oz to get there, but that being said it's not really marketed at that snowboarding/extreme sports/etc crowd.

I would buy this one again; no problem at all. It definitely has a place outside the normal Bawls glass bottle group, and is my 'thinking mix' drink when i need to do those Visio diagrams.
This is definitely a drink that I'd buy for my brother (who lives on sour stuff and skittles).

bah wit da bah

2008-12-15T04:01:00.005-05:00

Thanksgiving came and went. Hope everyone enjoyed it, cause i sure as hell don't remember anything about it other than i had off Friday. Christmas is slated to do the same it seems. I can't believe that arguably the most memorable holiday is going to wiz by in only 10 days. Pretty soon it'll be 4th of July again.

The other day i was completely broadsided by the finely tuned machine that is corporate America. Olivia, Angel, and I were walking down the freezer isle of Food Lion when all of a sudden Olivia starts babbling fairly urgently about something. Turns out she was saying, "Sponge Bob!" and we walked out of the store with one more frozen kid dinner than we would have otherwise had in our bags. That's right... the marketing people at Swansons are so good at their job that my daughter saw a 2in x 2in picture of the yellow nightmare from across the isle and through a frosted piece of glass. Damn you Swansons... damn you.

In other news my sister is almost Mrs. Teare. She's tying the knot a this saturday and my dad couldn't be happier. Actually that's not true. He hopes that she will forever be 15 and live in his house so he can administer complete and senseless control just for the sake of complete and utter senselessness. It's going to be an interesting few weeks in that respect.

Speaking of respect; my sister is a serious lightweight when it comes to drinking. In fact, i think i'm the only Nowicki in this generation that can drink with any kind of responsibility. Not that i'm saying i always keep my faculties about me when i indulge, but goddamn; sometimes it's a little ridiculous. That's all i'm saying. There wasn't any drama or kids getting pregnant, but there was a lot of 'happy eyes' and pass-ed out-ed ness the other night and it wasn't me. That's all i'm saying...

And today's random picture posting!

Well that's just soody soup soup soup super!

2008-11-20T10:07:00.010-05:00

I've gotta say... i think my mojo is back.I'm being more productive at work, sleeping better, thinking more clearly, and overall i feel happier. I'm trying to analyze myself in hopes of finding what is doing this to me, but so far no dice. I do have a novel day dream that i cling to (seems like) more than i usually do.

I want to start my own business. I have all these skills and right now the only legitimate use they get is to make my job easier; to whittle down an 8 hour project into 4 hours, and it makes me feel somewhat under utilized. But, this alone isn't enough to make me want to rock the boat. There's stronger undercurrents than just that. If i stay on this pathway i'll be the first generation of male Nowicki that will have a full time job with 'the man' until i retire. Every other male up until this point has made a living doing what they are good at on their own. I'm spoiled with a regular paycheck that i don't have to worry about funding. I like the benefits and office atmosphere. I enjoy the way small companies (that i've worked for previously) are setup and i appreciate how relatively easy it is to work for them and get paid. On the flip side i have this vision of a company that i run; that i've put together that matches me perfectly. I want to say that i've created a company that grosses $500,000... or more. I want to feel a certain way; a certain way that i feel when i day dream.

Undercurrent #1:
What's really started me thinking that i can do it are the things i've noticed while working at the D. IT shops around the country are a joke. I see stuff that people have done who have all the MSCE, CCEA, whatever-whatever after their names, and the solution works like a pile of donkey snot. I am consistently better than the median talent out there.

Undercurrent #2:
My dad has managed to run a successful business for almost 20 years. That's while bringing up a family, working two other jobs full time (in the early years), and dealing with his auto body cravings. Just recently i found out that he's not nearly half as thorough as i would have thought, and it's that piece of info that makes me think i can do it. My mom's taken pretty ill and she hasn't been able to run the books for the gun shop in a while. My father has no idea who his phone company is. He has no idea who the credit card merchant is. He doesn't even know how much the last BG&E bill was.

Don't get me wrong. I have a huge amount of respect for him and what he's done with that business, but c'mon. You don't know who you pay 2% of your credit cards fees to? If i were to actually pay attention to the money and 'watch the cents,' the dollars would have to mind themselves. I can't get over the fact that people who are wholly mired in the undercurrents 1&2 can run successful businesses. How hard can it really be? ( i know those are famous last words )

Anyway, without further adeu, here's your caffeine review of the week.
This week we're talking about the Jolt Energy 24oz Blue Raspberry can. This stuff is awesome; it's easy to drink, it's got REAL sugar, and has a happy high caffeine rush that's got some staying power.

This bad boy is 24oz of time-warping caffeine fun. The entire can packs 280mg of caffeine. That's about 3.5 8oz Redbull servings. Amazingly, it didn't give me the jitters or shakes. I think the volume of liquid in the can forces the user to slow down a little bit; a 'sippin whisky' if you will.

The carbonation is med-low and the drink tastes great. It's got a light blue flavor (haha... totally just said 'blue flavor') that seems pretty much like what you'd expect the drink to be, and there's only a lightly discernible caffeine bitterness that you really have to pay attention to to pick up on. It's mildly syrupy and bold when compared to something like Bawls, but this is a more pronounced and active product anyway so it fits well.

The other novel thing about the Jolt Energy line is the packaging. This can is frickin' awesome. Instead of using a screw-type lid Jolt went above and beyond the normal aluminum can packaging and created an amazing cap. It's a bayonet lid with 4 lugs that uses a large blue piece of plastic to make the airtight seal.

It's a shame the aluminum is so thin and single walled; this would be a perfect thermos or piece of camping gear.

I would definitely buy this again. In fact, i do. This is my go-to drink when i can't make up my mind.
This is a drink that i'd buy for my brother, but i would worry a little bit about him getting the jitters (he's a caffeine lightweight).

Today... in the news

2008-11-19T08:40:00.003-05:00

The title actually reflects the contents of the post!

I heard on the news this morning that PG county has banned the sales of single cigars are convenience stores. The idea behind the law is to discourage single cigar sales that evidently occour only because teens hollow out the smokes and put their weed in there.

Breaking Story

Now, my degree is in Biology and i work with computers, so i might not be the best person to talk about this, but goddamn... this doesn't make any sense. Or rather, it makes the wrong sense. It's like charging an arm and a leg per bullet so people don't use guns in violent crimes. It's like charging $5 pack for a pack of cigarettes so people smoke less. These are the types of decisions and thought patterns of people who aren't really in touch with society. I mean, i understand that there are 3 sides to every story and i'm a firm believer that no one really brings the correct answer to the table by themselves, but c'mon guys. Instead of paying $1at a 7-11 to get high people are paying $20 for pack that will sit in their drawer for a week until they all are used. What's the point here?

I see the following repercussions:
More responsible smokers. (they have to save a little for their smoking vehicle)
Stale cigar shells
Increased rolling paper sales
Increase bong sales
Encourages group smoking. (to float the $20 bill)
Encourages reselling cigars.

I know these are extreme, but any more so than mandating how retailers sell a product? What's next? Banning smoking from bars?

Don't let a little thing like watah keep ya undah

2008-11-13T10:45:00.002-05:00

Wow... October went by without a single blog post. I almost got one in there last week, but just wasn't able to. Part of my delinquency resides in Facebook. Seems like it's just a little more fast paced, interactive, and requires less thought process. The other part resides in my jay oh bee. It keeps me busy, but more importantly it makes me appreciate my family. It's not a job that i'm head-over-heels passionate about. It's right down the middle of challenging, fun, social, and time allotment. It gives me time to realize that i spend most of the day wanting to be home to see what my daughter will do next to make me appreciate how far we all come in life. This is a whole blog post in and of itself.

But i've spent a lot of time in traffic able to ponder and i think i have a solution for the turbo charger lag that is this blog. It's not an original idea, and i'm capitalizing on the work of others but who's to say they did it knowingly?

So without further adeu, i introduce you to Thursday's Caffeine Review! (now with extra label)

This week's selection is called Venom and it's bottled under the authority of the 7-Up/Dr. Pepper gang. It's packaged in a nifty aluminum can brazened with a purple anodized coating. Caffeine content on this guy (full bottle) is 160mg which is about two cans of 8oz RedBull. It's got the normal taurine, inositol, etc that made RB famous, and seems to leverage the low-sugar ploy.
It's super carbonated for the first hour or so after opening. I think the manufacturers do this to mask the taste somewhat because i can pick out some of that low-carb/low-sugar flavor. It's initially very sweet and syrupy but has a pretty good finish. I'm going to attribute the finish to the sugar alternatives used to sweeten the product.

I'm not sure i'd buy this again, but that's not saying much. Some of the drinks out there i can say i wouldn't buy again without reservation.
This is definitely a drink that I'd buy for my brother (who lives on sour stuff and skittles).

Today's Clip of the Day holds a special place in my heart. It was one of the songs that was popular when i discovered Comcast's streaming audio about the about same time Angel and I started dating.

Saw the mood we spoke in France

2008-09-30T08:32:00.005-04:00

They've recently put up a sign on 95 that catches my eye every time i drive by it. It says, "Married People Make More Money." I don't know who's in charge of these ads, but c'mon. Married people make more money?

The sad part is that there are actually some people who are capable of driving a car that will look at this sign and believe it. Those are the people that haven't comprehended what a fast lane is for and why left lane on ramps are a bad idea. I just don't know where to begin...

Actually, i do... er... i did. I got sidetracked at work and coming back to this half edited blog i am taking a new look. It turns out that this billboard has turned up in lots of cities and i'm not the only one (i really didn't think i was... honestly!) talking about it. I found some input that actually added value to the conversation and i'd like to share just a few snippits.

It's truly aimed at inner city youth, who refuse to wear condoms. That said, what ever happened to "Sex can wait, masturbate"?

I must say, America needs less sex period. I don't think this billboard will get many people thinking, however. I think we need to be a bit more open to sex... This one doesn't even make sense!

I would imagine that if this message was aimed as girls, if the billboard said "It's my future! Getting married and having children can wait!", you wouldn't be so scornful.

Then i really got it. This billboard is targeted at city youth. Maybe that's too easy... i know there's quote that says that, but still. I didn't even look at the billboard from that angle.

What do gangsta's like more than ho's? Money. And hey, if you want lots of money you should get married. Or maybe (stepping back a little more), Tired of being a gangsta? Here's a way for you to stop being one, and you have an excuse; "I'll make more money than if i was thuggin'."

But now i'm wondering what happens to all those women that get married like this. Shit, the only billboard they have to guide them is, "I'm not giving in and i don't give it up" or something like that. So now you've got ex-cons trying to marry women who don't want to give it up. Sounds like there was too much 'reaching across the isle' on this social engineering campaign.

Anyway... i've completed bastardized this post. I'm making a new blogging rule that prohibits blogging whilst working. Even if we were slow when i started. I don't like my mind when it's divided.

As a consolation prize, i'm adding some random pictureness!! This one from the golden days of bachelordom.

You oblige the spirit's metalloid prole?

2008-09-24T17:40:00.003-04:00

Have you noticed that you’re sleeping lighter lately? Or maybe you’ve noticed that your dreams are a little more vivid or its easy to remember them once you’re awake? I sure have and it’s driving me nuts.
I was talking to Angel about this earlier in the week and she reminded me that the seasons are changing, and we’ve been sleeping with the windows open. This actually sparked a memory of a conversation me and my boss had last year about this same time. He was also noticing that he slept different that he had in the previous weeks. Funny, huh?
That being said last week was the worst week for traffic I could remember. There were three afternoons where 95 was jammed up. It wasn’t terrible slowness, it just made me mad because it was three days out of the week. Maybe it’s related to the weather too. I dunno, but I’m wishing I had that philanthropy degree so someone would pay me money to check it out.
The job at D is pretty good. I’ve been here about 3 weeks and had to work late two nights (one unexpected), so it’s not too bad. The guys here say that they’re really busy and if that’s the case then I’m doing pretty good cause ‘being busy’ at the C was knock down drag out afterhours work. I don’t even have a blackberry or pager at this gig. The VP of IT (my boss) doesn’t even have a blackberry! He takes home a… hold it… ready for it… PAGER!! It’s great. I can’t believe how this place is run, and so far I’m impressed. It’s taking some getting used to though. Back at the C I could do the stuff with my eyes closed and sleeping. Here I’m making the same stupid JV errors that I used to make way back when and it’s driving me nuts.
Olivia’s a full time walker now. She’s actually even getting pretty good at walking around with stuff in her arms. She’s still learning how to negotiate a blanket as a co pilot though.

Today's random picture (now with extra caption!)

"I didn't create the qoute, it's an 'illusion' and that's a quote."

Who made that song...?

2008-08-15T12:32:00.003-04:00

So i dodged some doocedness earlier. Prudent readers will notice that my blog isn't 100% intact anymore. I'll leave it at that until the path is clear. I guess the only (saving) stipulation with a state of dooceness is that you have to worry you'll loose your job and i clearly don't have that problem.

On a lighter note, this time tomorrow i'll be 40,000 feet over the atlantic with Bonaire in my sights. It's come up so quickly that i can't believe it's here already. Angel and I will be furiously packing tonight and waking up at zero dark thirty tomorrow.

On an equally lighter note, today is my last day of work at Pinnacle. Actually... in keeping with my new blogger rules it's known now as 'P.' I've had a lot of fun working at the P, and just as much fun working in Towson. I really love working in Towson too. I've only eaten at the same place, like, 3 or 4 times and there is so much to look at from my 5th floor window. It's really been a fun month, and it's too bad that i didn't scoop up a job local to Towson.
I kind of look at the placement as a long term placement if i worked for a consulting company. If i look at it this way i realize that i don't ever want to consult. I couldn't do this repetitively for a career. I need to have an anchor i guess.

I managed to weasel in a week off of any work completely after we get back from Bonaire. I really wanted a week or two off when i left the C, but couldn't manage with the notice i had to give them (it still wound up being two weeks). I told myself that i would work something in when the P gave up on me, and it seems like i'm going to be able to. So, for the last week of August i'll be unemployed and sittin' on the couch.

Eat that corporate america.

And for today's randomness; i found this video involving a smoking hot hottie talking about these (smoking?) weird weirdies. I ran across these berry thingies at ThinkGeek, but hadn't really done much looking around past that. I think i'll have to give them a try; even if they don't come with a ditzy brunette who is around just to make fun of.

I can't whistle through my teeth

2008-08-08T14:42:00.003-04:00

Just ran out to lunch and while i was waiting in line to order i snagged a Dove chocolate out of the little candy dish. When i opened it after eating the saying inside was this, "Always Flirt."

What does that mean? Does it mean that deep down people 'always flirt' and Dove is finally bringing it to light? Does it mean that Dove is suggesting people be lighthearted enough so that they're always in a flirty mood? Maybe Dove is trying to tell us that we should always be young and energetic at heart and flirting is healthy.

I'm not sure how i take this little saying. I mean, if i was constantly flirty i think my wife would have a problem with it. On the other hand, i can't recommend that she always be flirty either; i would get a little jealous. Unless of course she was always flirty with me, but even then that's a little wierd.

Maybe we're supposed to always flirt to get what we want. I mean, this is a little tougher for the guys but still... Wait a minute... I dunno how i made the association with Dove saying 'Always Flirt' to mean 'Sell your cleavage to get to the what you want.' Forget i said that. I have a daughter and i don't think that's good advice.

So i've got this little piece of tin foil that is egging me on to flirt and i'm just kind of sitting here looking at it everyonce in a while over the top of my glasses wondering what it really means. I frickin' hate chocolate.

Duh! There's a button on there!

2008-08-03T08:30:00.004-04:00

A few posts back i tried to post my own video and it tanked pretty gracefully. I am just now noticing that there's a button to do the same thing (and i'm pretty sure its track record is better than mine).

No update on the job yet. We're still being told that nothing will change and we're still needed. Regardless, i've been exercising some due diligence and went on two phone interviews and one in person interview. There's a company in columbia that i'm waiting a call back on for an in person interview that would be a home run for me. I'm waiting quietly by the phone.

Speaking of jobs, i spent monday and tuesday in Denver setting up our colocated rack in Level 3's facility. Denver is a great location. The weather's amazing, and the people there are friendly and mostly attractive. I didn't realize the difference in weather until two guys at the data center were complaining that they've had > 90 deg. temps for the last two weeks. They seemed pretty angry about this i don't know why. The humidity out there is like 10%. Don and I walked around for an hour at lunch and barely broke a sweat. Ironically when we got back in maryland (at 2am) the air was so thick with water i was sweating as soon as i got off the plane. My car was covered in dew to the point that i couldn't keep it off until the glass had warmed up. Now i know what people mean when they say oppressive.

A guy at work showed me what is definatly in the list of coolest things this year. It's caled Ikariam and it's part of a new genre of entertainment called "Browser Games." It's almost like Age of Empires or (more closely) SimCity, but it's in real time and it plays right in a web browser. It seems like they've done a lot of work do keep diplomacy and alliances important to a successful game. I'm only about a week in so more to come on it. I have a feeling that it's going to be easy to loose a lot of time in this thing.

Today's picture:

you ARE freakin' out man

2008-07-27T10:03:00.003-04:00

So we're being told that nothing is going to change at the NOC. No one's going to have to worry about loosing their job, and things will be the same as they've always been.
Pshh... yeah right.
You're forgetting one minor detail buddy. The guy involved with the Disaster Recovery phone calls has openly admitted that we can't move any equipment 'pre-merger' and you yourself have said that no new clients will be using hosted resources in Towson.
Congratulations! You're about to inherit a dying data center, and i don't want any part of it.

I've got a senior place lined up at KAWG&F. It's an accounting firm that has a position open pretty similar to the one i left at the big C; sans jackoff lazy boss.
I've also got two phone interviews scheduled next week for positions that i think are going to be pretty interesting. We'll see what happens.

Bonaire is coming up in two (two? holy crap!) weeks. I cannot wait to get off the plane and do a running jump off the pier. Last year's vaca was chewed up by the inconvenience of Olivia's birth. I"M KIDDING!! That was an awesome week and i would can't wait to do it again in January.

I've also decided that my blog is getting a bit too wordy so to attract new visitors i'm going to include pixtures!

Toastee... this looks a lot like porn

2008-07-16T07:10:00.003-04:00

Early morning blog cause i worked a 12 hour shift yesterday. I don't mind working to occasional 12 hour, but i like to go home feeling like i did something productive. Unfortunately i had a day like this; get up and get to work; kick ass all morning; have a great lunch; get back and kick some serious-i'm-sweating-in-the-datacenterass; everyone leaves for the evening and i start to come unmotivated; strike out on the last major part of the project and have to face it this morning.

Trifecta complete (i know it's not a trifecta)! And i don't want to go into work an earlier than i have to.

I did have a nice surprise earlier this week in some written media. The following is a quote that i thought was pretty substantial given the source. I'll leave that person out until you read it.

What did you like about it [Mary Shelley's Frankenstein]?
"How awesome the monster was. My idea of him from the movies is just this big dumb guy that has no brains. He's like, 'Aaah, I am really scared of fire.' He wasn't fucking scared of fire. He was so much better than that. He was way smarter than you, way faster. He ran like a cheetah. A nightmarish creature, but with a soul too. He was tortured by his outsiderness, that he wasn't allowed to live in this beautiful world. He could appreciate the beauty and longed so desperately to be part of it."

That's right ladies and gentlemen... a deep insightful quote by none other than Mr Jack Black.
Bender magazine had a great article with him in their newest issue, and it furthers my belief that JB is one of the most interesting people i would like to meet. He also acknowledges that when teamed up with Kyle Gass they are quite the team, and he feels most at home and productive. Go Tenacious D!!

Wipe that golden tear from your mother dear and raise what's left of the flag for me

2008-07-08T09:54:00.001-04:00

I've noticed that when i have a blog hiatus i don't actually have a real blog hiatus. I just make a bunch of drafts that never get published. They are like, half thoughts or fragments about a quick encounter that i've had throughout the day. Twitter seems to be a medium for people in a similar predicament, but i think that there's more value in a few paragraph blog than in a small clippet of words that almost resembles a free writing excercise.

I'm going to post all of my past drafts in this post. They probably won't make any sense, but i'll feel like i'm being productive by bringing them to light (even if i'm being incredibly lazy)

Hmm... so i went though my past drafts and it seems like i really didn't have that much to say. Wow.

Two friday's ago a bunch of us at Cowan celebrated...well a bunch of us leaving. It actually started out at a 'work function' at Ruby Tuesdays and then what used to be the best fargin' IT department in the world carried it over to Bay Cafe in Canton. I knew i was going to get wasted... i just had the right feelings. Besides that, each of us had $100 from a bunch of decommissioned shit we'd sold on Ebay. To complete the triad i had a designated driver; we recently found out Angel's preggers (that's a sexy word when it's about my wife... seriously). I felt kinda guilty about asking her to come out with us cause she couldn't drink, but a few girls that she used to work with at Cowan came out dispersed the sausage fest.

I had three Jack and Cokes at Rudy Tuesdays and started a Jack and Water (a very poor drink order execution by myself) but couldn't manage to choke that thing down. We said our goodbyes to the Cowan crowd and started out for Canton. It took no joke 20 minutes to find a parking spot. Ironically, the spot was right in front of the bar. For those who haven't been to Bay Cafe, it's a two part place; most of it is outside and setup like a beach (sand and all). I've never made it inside, so i can't tell you too much about that. I can tell you that 8 shots was $60. I guess that why i've only been there twice now.

$8 cans of beer aside, we managed to get pretty tore up. It's been a looong time since i drank more than socially and it was just like i remember it (haha... totally sounding like an alcoholic). But enough about me drinking; this isn't some spineless fratboy's blog. I'll just leave it at, "We had a great time celebrating the event."

Today's completely unrelated fact: Mixing 1 pack of cherry Kool-Aid and 1 pack of Lemonaide Kool-Aid together is WONDERFUL to drink.

Mom and dad... this Chasey

2008-06-24T21:37:00.003-04:00

I'm not going to apologize about not blogging in over a month. This is supposed to be a selective reflection of someone's life and sometimes you're just too busy to do certain things; like blogging. Consider it status quo. I do plan on trying to blog more however. :-)

I'm leaving the Cowan compound on friday... It's my last day. I'm saying goodbye to the beloved retard users, the political (i started to spell that pulitcal... no shit) bullcrap, the blatantly obvious disregard for employees, and most of all the OCD/bipolar/manipulative behavior of 1 said Director of IT.

There's no use beating a dead horse rambling on about the story. I'm sure i'll use parts of it in my latest (and promised forthcoming) blogs, but suffice to say an opportunity came up, and i was sensitive to change.

So say good bye to the Senior Network Analyst/ Engineer/ whateveryouwanttouseasyoursignature title and say hello to Operations Manager of the Pinnacle Group Worldwide NOC. That's right fellas, i'm going to be the manager of a NOC... BAM!

It's a risky move; the Director of IT at Pinnacle (or more precisely K2Analytics) was just recently hired, they really undercut my salary requirements (which were really inflated by yours truly), it's in Towson (so that messes up the baby sitter thing), and i won't be able to have lunch with Angel anymore, but hey... it's straight IT and i'm going to be the manager of a NOC. That's pretty sweet. If this division does what it's supposed to i'll be on the right side of the growth and will have proved a lot to the owners of the company. At any rate i'm out of the afor mentioned crap stagnant situation and breathing real air again. I'm very anxious to start.

I've also been able to see how i react to stress from an interesting standpoint in relation to myself. I haven't been really stressed out from a 1st person standpoint in a long while and the job change mentality has really brought about a good opportunity to revisit some old feelings. I'm not real comfortable talking about them yet... more for a later blog.

Tonight's completely unrelated factoid: Light bulbs in my house seem to burn out in random rooms at the same time.

Free Report: The 23 Cent Life-Saver Heart Surgeons Never Tell You About

2008-04-07T10:45:00.003-04:00

I've decided against an Episode III. Too much time has passed and it just doesn't matter. I've learned a lot from this entire ordeal and things are starting to calm down. Sorry blog readers; i'm just not talented enough to do my story justice. (that sounds kinda narcissistic, doesn't it? That's not the intent) Further support for my decision comes from the television. I stayed up late last night to watch Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. I haven't seen this last installment of the Star Wars saga and i must say that i wasn't disappointed. Kudos to Lucas.

Today i'm staying home sick. I've put the Blackberry in my nightstand drawer and i'm not even remotely dressed to go outside. It's my second sick day in my three and half years at Cowan, and the sad part is i don't even feel guilty. I used to... the only other sick day i took i was in severe distress (at the expense of TMI, i'll just say that i was in so much pain i had trouble walking) and still 'worked from home.'

I'm not doing that anymore. Dooce or no dooce let it be known that i'm fed up at work. If i could be guaranteed half the momentum that the company has i would start my own business. I'm convinced that you can have idiots working for you and have absolutely no other motivation than wanting to make a buck and as long as you can get momentum you'll do just fine. I mean, take a look around at some of your local mom and pops and you'll see examples of businesses that run like a clock. Businesses that run better than most corporate environments.

Moving on to much happier topics! Olivia is now officially aware that she can crawl. She's playing around with it so much that yesterday i swear she knew i was trying to grab her and she took off. She crawled out of my office (where we both were playing on the floor), into the kitchen, and then turned the corner and took off into the living room. It is just absolutely amazing that two weeks ago she couldn't even stay up on all fours for any length of time.

I had another one of those, "Holy crap... i'm a dad" moments yesterday too. I was emptying the dish washer and Olivia was sitting in her high chair eating some chopped up spaghetti. I had dropped something back into the dishwasher and Olivia made a sound that was awfully close to "Uh OH!" I'm not saying it was because she sometimes mutters "Da da da da" when she looks at the cat, but still. I made me think that that kind of stuff is coming quicker than i'd like to think about it. Never ceases to amaze me. I had completely no idea how interesting a baby was going to be.

Episode 2: The House that Gave Up On Me

2008-03-30T17:16:00.004-04:00

Last week (written in the past... this happened about a month ago) Angel's mom moved out of her tiny apartment on Leeds Avenue and into a single family house. This thing is perfect and had enough room to bring in her dad as well. It had enough space to fit her entire family and maybe add some stability to the family. The only downside of the place was the fire hall up on the hill that would run their airhorn for every fire in the zip code. Besides that things looked great.

The move was a beotch... There were supposed to be a bunch of people showing up to help and of course no one was able to. I got off work Friday around 6 expecting most of the move to be done and nothing was done. Even better was that the UHaul had to be back in a hour and half. Sofas, fridges, everything had to be loaded. I dunno how the people that helped move her into Leeds got this crap in the apartment, but it damn near killed me getting it out.
So after a grueling move out and move in things were moving along swimmingly, and the following week Angel, the baby and, I all went over to the new house for dinner. The weather was awesome and we had the windows open. Angel's mom was busy cooking in the kitchen and setting off the fire alarms in the house. After a few minutes of being upstairs we heard the fire horn start blaring up the hill rallying the local volunteers to service. Mom still cooking, baby playing in my lap on the couch, angel and britney screwing around upstairs.
After a few minutes Angel came down the stairs talking about smelling burning marshmallows and needing to go meet her brother to show him how to get to the new house. I thought the marshmallow comment was funny because the windows were open and we could smell someone cooking out or burning leaves or something. Just as Angel's mom brought out the ham from the oven the fire alarms started buzzing again in the house. Evidently they did that every time she fired up the oven; she seemed to think it was because of the cleaning crew from the previous tenants.
About 15 minutes later Angel's mom screamed from upstairs, "DAVE! The house is on fire!" I immediatly put the baby on the couch and ran upstairs. The second floor really smelled like smoke, but it wasn't until i got to the third floor that i realized the smoke alarms were for this house and that smell was smoldering lumber. Angel's brother Jerry was already pulling stuff away from the walls in the attic (Britney's room) looking for a sparking electric socket or something. I ran back down stairs to the ground floor asking for a fire extinguisher, but of course there wasn't one. We didn't have one at our house up until a few months ago. I soaked a beach towel, made sure Angel's mom had the baby, and ran back up stairs. Jerry still running around looking for the fire i opened the windows on the third floor to clear the smoke. I couldn't be up there without breathing through my shirt. Back down to the second floor to find Jerry yelling he'd found the fire over top of the bathroom vanity light. My towel wasn't doing it and i ran back down stairs to find something better.
Couldn't find anything better to use to help with the fire so i told mom what was going on and ran back upstairs. Jerry had the shower head out and was soaking the wall. I figured that was as good as we were going to get so i went back up to Brit's room to see what was going on. I started moving boxes and bags from the wall closest to the 2nd floor bathroom. After moving what i could to the opposite side of the room i went back down to see how Jerry was doing. He still had the water running (light fixture still energized and water on the floor by the way) and was upset because you could still see some smoldering lumber through what was now a hole in the ceiling and looking into the attic crawl space.
I figured we'd have to call the fire department to at least assess the structure and put out any more smoldering so i went to the attic one last time to be greeted by intense smoke. I opened the crawl space door and could see flames reflected against the roof face i was looking at. Time to go. I thought for a split second about crawling in further to look but the floor was unfinished and i couldn't see any win in going in there without a fire extinguisher.
I pulled Jerry down and told him the attic had a fire we couldn't get to and then went down to the ground floor to call 911 on mom's cell phone. The operator reminded me that the utilities should be turned off and as i lost signal going into the basement to find the breaker box i heard the firehouse wail. I'll never forget the realization that what i considered a nuissance throughout the day was now being run to save a house i was standing in.
Just a minute later and the fire engines pulled up. I ran out to meet the first guy coming towards the door with a hose to show him where the fire was and the next guy in line started yelling 'Roof Fire! Get everyone out of the house!" Sure enough when i got outside the roof was smoking like crazy. I didn't realize how quickly it had flared up. Olivia and Angel's mom were next out and then Jerry a minute or two later. The next door neighbors took us in as the sun was setting and the temperature was dropping. Angel's mom had left the house without shoes on and we all looked pretty rag-tag. By this time Angel was pulling up and Brittney had gotten back with her Dad. You could hear the chainsaw gnashing at the roof and glass falling on the shingles. The fire was breathing well.
I got my mom to pick up Olivia and right around 10 o'clock we were allowed back in the house. Water was dripping from every ceiling and the walls in the stairway had black marks from the firefighters moving in the house. The second floor bathroom was a shamble of blackened drywall, melted carpet, and sopping mush. The other three bedrooms (barring the water) were untouched. The attic however looked like a complete loss.
The fire started in the crawlspace right next to the stairs. At the opposite end of the room was a TV on a stand and some of those Rubbermaid drawers; both of which were melted beyond use. The TV was pretty much a ball of plastic. I couldn't believe that the fire had gotten large enough to engulf the entire half of the room and melt a TV at the opposite end of the space. Between the fire damage and the fire fighters pulling down drywall the walls were bear. Two large holes had been cut in the roof and had been recovered with tarps. We noticed that the fire dept had moved all of Angel's mom's stuff together in each room and covered it with heavy tarps to keep the water out. I couldn't believe that they'd taken the time to throw chairs, tables, food (everything) in the room into one pile. I started donating to the local volunteer FD after seeing that.
We went back the next day to see what could be salvaged from Brit's room and walked out with 5 bags of clothes, jewelry, dvd's, her computer (the monitor was toast), and a few other things. I was really surprised given the damage that things were salvageable. It was really sad to look around though. I couldn't have imagined if the entire house were to have been lost.
We would spend the next two weeks dealing with the mess and me repeating the events in my head.
Luckily Angel's dad is living in another apartment in Arbutus so no one was homeless, but Brittney spent a night or two over our house to get away from the entire environment.

I don't have a clever wrap up to this one. I can't see smoke inside our house (kitchen cooking, etc) without feeling a quick spike of panic, and leaves burning outside don't have that same feeling to me anymore. I don't think that wood burning smells as nostalgic as it did before. I jump when our smoke detectors beep just once because the battery is low, and i think extra hard about running an electric space heater or leaving a light on when i goto work.

Turns out that there was a faulty junction box that smoldered for more than a day before it generated enough heat to burn the joist. When it did catch fire it burned down first into the bathroom. Once that hole was made the fresh air just fed the process and didn't stop until the firefighters caught up to it. I still wonder how many people were up in the attic at one time fighting the fire. They did a hell of a job.

Stay tuned for my next post; Episode 3: The final chapter of busy weekends.

A Giant Cloud of Methane did What?

2008-03-21T19:57:00.001-04:00

I'm not even going to bring up one of my previous posts about procrastination.
The next three installments of The Daveco Blog tell a story so bold, so outlandish, so incredibly insane that we needed three days to post the details.

Please sit (i typed 'air' instead of sit... wonder if that's a freudean (double quotes... no spell check on this computer's firefox) slip) back and as Jack Black would say, "Prepare to have your face melted!"

Episode 1: The Room Gives Up On Me

Angel's company was doing a blood drive today (February like... 11th) so i decided to give a pint. I haven't given blood before so i was kinda curious about my blood type as well as experiencing some of the stories i'd heard about people passing out and projectile vomiting.

So i stopped at McDonald's this morning for a healthy breakfast and snacked throughout the day. I didn't drink as much water as i would have liked, but i tried to make up for it by by slamming a 20oz Aquafina on the car ride to her J-O-B. I was pretty nervous by the time i got there, but to her new job's credit everyone was really nice. We were able to see one of the triage people right away; so began the eligibility questioning. I was surprised they didn't go into more detail after hearing things like, "Have you ever dated anyone from Africa? Have you ever spent time outside the US (especially England) from April 1973 to June 1976? Have you ever (even once) had intercourse with another man? Have you had any contact with any person who has had documented Hepatitis-F? I'm not kidding with this stuff... i wish i could remember more cause they were crazy.

After the questioning we started the exam. Turns out i was able to trick the inner city teenager taking my blood pressure into thinking i was a real human and she gave me the okay. She took my jacket and walked me over to the donation chairs where Angel was already being prepped. After a few minutes of thumping, rubbing, and drawing on my arm the lady was ready to jab me with that cannula thing. Just as she stabbed me with it i looked over and noticed that there wasn't any blood coming out despite the large piece of steel being stuck in me. Without thinking i blurted out, "Well that's not good..." I don't think she really took notice. She was a seasoned veteran and had me squirting in no time.

Right after i was hooked up and started oozing this contractor guy sits down next to me and starts this quinessential (what the hell did we do before spell checK?) nervous "i'm being an asshole" talking. What was really funny was that no one would get him a coke: ignoring the chiding the phlebotomist kept on working. The guy kept me occupied for about 10 mins until i noticed a familiar hot/cold flash wash over me. Just about the same time one of the triage nurses said something about it being hot in the room and turned off the heat. A short while later i started to notice that the room would do a half spin and stop every once in a while. I was able to stop my stomach from turning though... it felt kinda empty and growly. I thought i knew what was coming.

Right about the time i looked down and noticed that my bag was full i started to use the fact that i was done to comfort me and put down any more panic, but as the nurse came over to pull the needle out of my arm the room went full-tilt-boogie around me and i said something about, "I'm starting to get a little dizzy" to the nurse. Before i knew what was happening (I didn't black out i'm told) i had a coke with one of those bendy straws, a bucket of ice, and a cool rag on my forehead. Trust me... i didn't waste the opportunity to rub that in Mr. Douchebag's face.

The room didn't stop spinning for another 5 minutes and even then it was on-again off-again for a few minutes more. After i was out of the constant spins i leaned up to get moving. I took my time cause i figured i'd start again once my head was above my body, but i was rewarded with just a little time-warp bump. Walking over to the 'Canteen' area i likened my condition to some pretty serious drunken bar walking (of which i'm an esteemed student) and made it to a chair. I noticed then that i was sweating so much my pants were spotted and Angel was a little worried because i was so pale.

Not too long after sitting there and munching on the Famous Amos i came back to reality and drove back to the Cowan Salt Mine. I can't say i've ever had the spins that bad before. I mean, i was really cruizing. If i would have gotten sick i think that would have done it for me; i'm not about barfing in public next to a-hole douchebags that will say i have a vagina for puking after giving blood.

All in all though, i'm happy with doing it. It was a pretty cool experience and i've already told our HR department that they can count me in for the next one at Cowan Salt, LLC.

Then i got this in the mail. I guess it means they threw my blood out cause it's a month later and i still don't have my blood donor/blood type card. I feel so used.

Tune in next time when we discuss the House That Gave Up On Me.

...low and to the left...

2008-02-18T08:49:00.001-05:00

My buddy Wickchad was talking about this bogus 'doomsday' virus email warning chain letter thing in his blog and it didn't register with me last week when I read it. This morning I come into work with what I presume is the same chain email that has been forwarded to our 'everyone' group in the corporate email. Remember, I made a good living in the IT field and here's a dispatcher trying to save the world with a simple FWD: email. HR had tons of fun with that guy.\

You know, it wouldn't have been so bad if he would have actually clicked on the included snopes.com link within the chain email. Someone actually took the time to track down the article and paste it into the email after the initial chain letter body. The part where I start to lose compassion for the guy is when you click the link. It takes you to the snopes article THAT SAYS THE EMAIL IS A FAKE.

On a lighter note I'm trying to blog more. I thought it was because I was so busy at work or enjoying the family, but I realized this morning into work (cut incredibly short by the federal holiday) that it's not cause I'm too busy. It's because I'm feeling very introspective lately. I talk all day at work on the phone, and the last thing I want to do is try and organize my own thoughts and pen them so that 3 people can try and make sense of what I've squeezed out of the tube. So I'm trying to break the chain of events and I'm starting here.

Let me say something about my drive (seeing as how I've already touched on it) back and forth to work. For those that don't know I'm a daily commuter up and down the 95 corridor and in my car for up to 2 hours a day. I've been driving it for almost three years now and I really only bugs me when I have to go into work unexpectedly. Actually, it doesn't really bug me then either. Especially in the summer when I can drive with the windows down.

Anyway; back to the point. I appreciate the drive for a lot of reasons, but probably most important is that it gives me a chance to wind down in the evenings. It's a block of 45 minutes that I don't have to deal with the phone ringing, my idiot boss, or pretty much anyone on a personal level. Drivers are easy… they're mostly all predictable and especially fun to look at while they hold their coffee or stare straight ahead into nothingness. All of this allows for some good thoughts to roll and coagulate into more substantial thoughts (or just disappear as waste heat to any certain frustration). When our home loan starts maturing past it's ARM the plan is to start looking for something closer to our families, and I'm a little worried about what the loss of personal time will do to my sanity. I've really come to enjoy it (both my sanity and the quiet time).

MAC is a layer 2 protocol

2008-01-23T05:13:00.001-05:00

I want to take a few minutes and talk about Victoria's Secret. Not as an institution, but as a shopping environment.

I got Angel a gift certificate to The Secret this Christmas and when we went to spend it i noticed some things that were pretty peculiar in that store; it's one of the conundrums of malehood society. It's like all the social rules and linkages just don't exist in there. Well... i can't say don't exist. I should say, rather, they are distorted. They look like they are under that little bug eye high power magnifier lens portion of the magnifying glass.

Let's take an example. Angel's picking out bras. I've got 12 draped over my arm while she rummages through the box. I'm not particularly involved with the picking process by the way. That's one of the rules that break in here; guys have no taste. So while she's digging i'm looking around the store trying to keep occupied. All of a sudden my eyes lock with another person's and i realize that this other person is a female who's got a bra held up in the air looking at it. Immediately i drop into 'cat mode' and need to either run out of the store or jump up in the air and spaz. She gives me a look and moves around to the other side of the display.

You can't make eye contact with any woman in there because she's picking out underwear. She's picking things that will (let's be honest... )do what underwear does. What kind of girl wants a stranger to see her underwear? Not many. And those that do are just returning from Saturn.
It's an entire store of women picking out stuff that is not meant to be seen by the general public, and here we are (as guy counterparts to the shopping experience) looking around as these choices are made. Don't look over there... it's someone picking out a thong. God forbid your eyes drift over there. She'll know that you know she's going to be wearing that soon. Don't look over there by the hanging bra wall... it's a highschool teenie bopper trying to pick out 'something sexy.' Oh my god... is mom with her? Awesome. Mom just caught me looking at her underage daughter while she picks out a bra for prom. You're kidding me right?

I don't mean anything by looking around the store. In fact, all i'm imagining is Angel in the stuff draped over my arm. I'm imagining it right now. I'm looking around the store because i was just in the mall where all the social rules and regulations applied. I could look at faces and colors and popcorn vendors. Now i'm only safe if i'm looking at a vacant piece of wall or the floor.

Try it next time guys. And everyone take notice of the husbands that are in there already. The smart ones are already doing that. Bras draped over an arm standing there trying to find a safe place to look. They'll even look at you more than they should; guy to guy looking is safe in the VS. It's another example of the distortion of social rules.

But don't get me wrong. I like going with my wife. I like finding that one piece of whatever that we both agree on. I really like helping her pick out smelly stuff. And now that i have an idea what's going on there, i like going because it's interesting.

Oh yeah, Olivia says hi. She's back to waking up and playing at 4.30.

Is that the secret? The monkey tried to circle you, you kept turning?

2008-01-05T10:19:00.001-05:00

The VP of operations for overstock.com is named Stormy Simon. I wonder if that's her real name.

We *sob* took down the decorations inside along with the christmas tree. I swear as i was taking the lights off the tree it felt like i had just put them on. I couldn't convince myself that it has been over a month. Having kids to share the holidays is downright scary. I'm going to be 40 before i know it.

The outside lights are coming down tomorrow (most likely). They've been up all year and are pretty rag tag. There's a few stands that aren't going to see the mistletoe next year if you know what i mean.

Angel went on a cleaning binge today... we wound up doing our spring cleaning a little earlier than expected. The house looks really good though. I think it was about time anyways. I got some stuff done down the basement and managed to chisel up the bathroom door latch so we don't have to stuff a rag in there while dropping the deucies. All the doors in the house work as expected now. It's funny... i never realized it before now, but there were more doors that didn't latch properly than latched when we moved in. I love the contractor who did this flip.

Olivia is growing like a damn weed. This feels like the first day i've been able to spend with her in its entirety. Last weekend didn't count because of the holiday and the weekend before that for the same reason. I got to feed her three times (wow, right?) and earlier we all went to Food Lion. She's got this new trick now that we've just discovered. She's able to sit upright all by herself without falling over (too much). Angel sat her up in the middle of the nursery and it looked like one of those horror movies you see where there's just this baby sitting in the middle of the room looking over its shoulder at you.

So back to Food Lion. Olivia sat in the little seat thing in the shopping cart and was just as happy as anything to play with the bottle of soda and yogurt cups. She managed to surprise me the entire hour, and didn't even cry once.

Whoa! I think I got some stuff out of your head that has nothing to do with navigating this ship!

2007-12-27T19:15:00.001-05:00

It's official... i have a baby. There is no more Dave, there is only Zuul.... err, Olivia.
She cleaned house at my parents. Trains, stuffed animals, bells, whistles, rattly things, mashed potatoes. It was gift carnage. I got a gift certificate.

I'm just kidding... if anyone should get the gifts, it's Miss Olivia. It was a better experience than i thought it would have been too. She sat in our laps and devoured wrapping paper and mutilated (spit) boxes. By the end of the day she was turning her head at boxes. Then she fell asleep in the lazyboy with her arm in the air and mouth open.

I just can't believe it came and went. I don't think even a white christmas would have slowed down the day. I took three days off and it didn't slow down the holiday. I sit around and look at the toy carnage in the living room here and can't help but feel a little empty. I have to wait an entire year to do this again with my family. I mean... that's kinda cliche, i know. But i want to have another go at it and somehow slow it down all the way. Remember when summer vacation felt like it took forever? Remember when you'd beg for snow days to be over cause you were bored out of your mind? That was after you'd spent all day sledding.

'EYE! Me father was a tree!

Almost a full year of bloggy goodness

2007-12-14T04:50:00.002-05:00

I had an interesting event happen at work the other day that's been bugging me for a while.
The entire Cowan company has been operating with a chip on their shoulder since moving to the new building. Everyone takes themselves so seriously and ends their trouble ticket emails with, "... i need this to do my job..." or "I can't do my job!" like we're going to factor in an accidentally deleted file in the same light as a crashing sql server. At any rate, it's gotten a little better. We've been in the building for almost a year and 20% of our workforce now doesn't even know our old building exists.
This opinion of the members of the Cowan family however have not waned. They are making even more ridiculous rules and standing by their inate decisions. Case in point; a little situation i call Duplicity Culmination F6432.

Before even the foundation of the new building was laid Joe Cowan came up with the quinessential 'makes sense in my head but is retarded for the real world' decision. There would be no eating at your desk. It doesn't matter who you are or what you had going on. Everyone was to eat their snaks and lunches in the lunchroom. Listening to the reasons (back then) it made sense. Change of scenery, break the monotony of the daily grind, no more mice... whatever.
Then came the gym. We had this one little room off in the corner of the building that went through the natural progression of 'conference room' then 'storage room' then 'daycare center' (for a day) then back to 'storeage room' (to cheat the fire codes), and then finally 'gym.' Now the notion of having a gym was sensational. Everyone was talking about it since the idea was leaked a year ago. It was dismissed as being too expensive or just crazy spending. Well, we got one. It showed up quietly one spring day without announcement and equally as quiet was closed to the general public. The unannounced official word was executives only.

So now we have the two pieces of the story. Let me tell you how they interface.

I was on the way to lunch the other day and Joe (we'll call him joe cause that's his real name) was walking back from the upstairs breakroom. Sorry... this is Joe in my department, not 'the man' Joe. There's actually three coffee rooms upstairs; this one just happens to have a fridge. A few weeks ago in this very same lunchroom someone cooked a huge mess of fish and stunk up the hallways as they walked their lunch down to the lunchroom. Ever since then there's been a sign on the microwave to 'DO NOT USE.' I mean, who installs a microwave in a room that cannot prepare food? Anyway... i'm winding up for the point. Stay with me.
So on my way out of the door to lunch i see a bewildered Joe (who has just returned from work off of a long leave of absence) walking back from the breakroom with a coffee mug in his hand. "Did you know we can't use the microwave?" he asks with that 20,000 foot stare. I start to explain the chain of events as we both stop to let Dan Evans (son in law) walk through us in gym shorts and sweat towel... with his personal trainer... and gym bag caddy guy....

I have to explain to Joe why he can't use a microwave that is without any stretch of the imagination in the correct place while one of the executives gets to use a personal trainer in the gym at 1 in the afternoon. I gave up and shrugged it off. I think Joe understood my explanation.

6 days later he did the same in the decalalon

2007-12-09T06:15:00.001-05:00

I'm starting to treat my blog less like it was originially intended (like i can put into words what that was) and more like a white elephant. I have a threadbare post-it note in my wallet filled with ideas that i thought were novel and warranted an editorial, but i keep putting it off.
I took a trip over to Chad's blog circle and found that his sister has one of these going now... I usually find motivation from reading another *good blog, so i'm motivated now, but i'm going to talk about family.

Olivia is going nuts in the developing category. She's got two teeth on the bottom that have completely broken through the gums, and has no problem making the "O-Face" when spoon, bottle, or a bough of our christmas tree gets too close to her persistently hungry head. She's also learning to work her arms and hands better. She's almost always reaching to grab something that is in front of her (and not that 'grab all' accident shit... she looks at whatever is being given to her) usually only to try and stuff it in her mouth.
We took a trip to the mecca of capitalism last night and afterwards stopped at IHOP to get some dinner-breakfast. This isn't the fist time we've taken Olivia out to eat with us... her first mashed potato dinner was fed to her from my mom across the table at a Bob Evans. It's just starting to sink in though that with two of these little mooches bumping around certain little things like going to IHOP are going to be prohibitive. I'm not saying Angel's pregnant... i'm just saying i suspect there's a huge difference between one rugrat and plural rugrats. I really appreciate being able to put Olivia on my lap and eat my dinner at the same time. I'm sure Angel appreciates being able to eat unrestricted of a wiggling pulling grabbing baby with no other route of escape other than a holding pattern for a daddy with another wiggling pulling grabbing baby in his lap.

So how about that snow? I've gotta say that i can't remember a time when it snowed like that all day. It made that new office Mr Cowan built for us that much cooler; no more staring at 3 walls of a cube... i've got winders! I pretty much didn't do anything on wednesday but stare at the grey sky and huge open truck lot and think about how fun it would be to fully enjoy the subaru. It's a crime to be an adult on days like that.

Headbutts are free

2007-11-27T05:55:00.002-05:00

I've just recently realized that my wife is quite possibly the lightest sleeper i know. She's not always this way; just sometimes, and lately with the baby. Olivia can grunt, fart, or (my favorite) choke just a little bit after stuffing too much hand in her mouth and Angel is up and running. She's been in this groove a while now and it's starting to wear down her skillz, however she's still able to conjure up the off/on sleep at will.
I'm digressing a little here though. The real story had more to do with me sleeping. I'm an active sleeper. I've always slept talk and used to walk around in my sleepy condition. On occasion i've been known to have smaller conversations with people in the room. I once tried to get involved with my college roommate's long distance phone 'relations' call by pressing buttons and (maybe more agressively than he would have liked) requesting the handset to help him enhance the conversation.
So it should come as no surprise to me that i do strange things from time to time in my sleep. What really surprises me is how well Angel handles it. She's a real trooper and usually laughs it off or goes back to bed a little weirded out but no worse for wear. That is until my slumber antics turn physical. Two nights ago i managed to head butt her.
After a bedtime conversation last night i remember turning over from laying on my stomach and (for whatever reason) kinda crunching up into a fetal position. I guess my poor wife had a similar intent because she seems to think that she was trying the same maneuver, albeit in a more awake state. The results; a wham-bam-thank-you-maam in the middle of the night that didn't get me any lovin.
Back to her being a trooper... she's dealt with slaps, a pinch or two, talking, and now wrestling tactics. Sorry honey. But she's always laughed it off or been amused. I just hope it doesn't get any rougher. I doubt it's good on the relationship in any function.
Oh yeah, i had a point when i said Angel could be a light sleeper. I was up early this morning with Olivia quietly surfing the web and nature called. O-face was a little whiny so i picked her and her bouncer up all at once and started to move to the other room so she wouldn't be so easily heard upstairs for a second or two in case she started popping. I didn't realize that four laptops, eighteen remote controls, a dinner plate, three baby bottles, and Frank Zappa were all attached to a power cord that had wrapped it's way around one of the legs of her bouncer. You can guess what happened next. By the time i planted the little evil in the other room and made it to the bathroom Angel was already down and asking what had happened. I guess i can't help myself.

I apologize to anyone that i will ever sleep around; sorry.

Okay, well i've gotta get back to the painful sin of 6am infomercials.

Never in the right cause the left's my good ear

2007-11-23T21:49:00.001-05:00

I've realized again that i spend too much time not enjoying the small things in life. Angel and i spent the night at my parents on wednesday so we wouldn't have to pull a Hail Mary and drive to 'dena on thursday morning. It was nice to have all of us in the same house again... not quite like old times, but cozy none the less. So my dad asks if i would put the horses out after everyone is done eating dinner. I look over at my mom and she's beat and i'm not really ready to start thinking about bed so i put on the shoes and head out.
First, let me start out by saying it was a gorgeous night. The moon was almost full and the air was in the low 70s. Completely clear and crisp and i can see all of the stars on the horizon. I never see stars on the horizon anymore; it's always those stupid pink or orange street lights. So while i'm taking a quick glance skywards i notice that i can see all around me. I finished putting our last horse out and get a quick bale of hay to throw over the fence, but decide to take it into the pasture and dump it in the middle. Why rush it or give myself an excuse to head back early? As i was walking out in the pasture i could feel the bubbles of warmer humid air around my legs. Every once in awhile i would pass through one that was much colder and denser. It reminded me of growing up and riding a dirt bike or something at night... I always took that stuff for granted growing up and now here i was amazed at the tranquility and perfection of a moon lit sky.
After buying our house i started to slowly realize that the things i had available to me growing up attributed very much to the way i turned out. I slowly began to realize too that not having them so easily available anymore made them that much more important and fundamental to my childhood. I knew that not every kid had go karts to crash into their brother or rockets to fire off across the tree line, but even little stuff like feeding horses and bringing in the lawnmower when it was going to rain were part of the lifestyle that i miss.
To wrap up the story i made one or two laps around the pasture in the moonlight. I was one of those experiences i'll remember until i die; not because of the spectacular uniqueness of the situation or because of the exotic setting, but because it made me realize how much i leave behind when i get into 'the groove' of life. It's so easy to put the blinders on and go from A to B to C to make sure you arrive back at A. Something as simple as a walk in a field can make you relive so much and freshen your palate to the point of feeling like you have a new beginning.

By the way... can you tell November has been a blur for us? I completely lost track of time and still think it's only the second week of the month.

gonna need you to change over to an ultra lightweight trailer fleet...

2007-11-04T06:40:00.002-05:00

You know what Daylight Savings Time means to someone with an infant? It means you get cheating out of an hour.

I fed my daughter this morning from 2am until 2am. As if that wasn't bad enough i now had an extra hour of dark, and everyone who's had a baby knows kids love dark more than popsicles. Forget that extra hour for sleep.It's okay... she's well and happy and sitting here in my lap trying to catch the cursor on the notebook. It's pretty funny how similar she is with the cat sometimes.

There's an AutoCross today up at Ripken stadium. I was really close to entering (it's crazy easy to get a spot), but i was reminded that my tires would give me away in the safety inspection. The $30 entry fee just became $430. So anyway, i've got a friend who bought an 06 STi and he's been to a few of these; i'm just going up to watch and maybe get a ride along. I'm definatly in next year. I went to one last season quite by accident and fell in love. I know that driving it once will hook me and start the shopping list for the car... like i can afford it. I'm riding on bologna skins i have so much disposable income.

Inka Dinka Doo says... the time has come!

2007-10-30T20:13:00.001-04:00

So i've finally figured out the significance of the afghan. I've never liked these things. They just don't make sense... a blanket that's full of holes is a bastardization in the largest sense. I'm a down comforter guy; i love the old worn (used to be fluffy) blanket that you could wrap around yourself twice, so i don't get how the afghan has made it so far. Everyone has a grandmother or crazy aunt with one of these things on their sofa. How can it be?
Hold on to your butts; i've found the answer.
I was laying on the couch this weekend after waking up a little too early with Olivia. It was a little chilly and the only thing within arms reach was this knitted blanket that someone had given us for a baby shower. I pulled it over me and discovered that despite the holes it kept me surprisingly warm. But i had yet to unlock it's full potential. This one wasn't made for a big person so i kinda had to scrunch up under it to seal me in. Once i was in the classic side down scrunched position i needed to change channels so i ran with my right arm out of the cocoon clicking away. Well, needless to say my right arm got a little chilly so i brought it back under cover for a while.
I went back and forth like this for a little bit until (quite by accident) i hit the button once while my arm was inside the blanket and BAM! channel change complete. The world got a little brighter and i swear someone had just beat the 8th dungeon in super mario brothers cause i heard that music playing somehwere. I discovered the first dimension of daddy hood laziness. I can't wait to find more.

Rikki Don't Loose that Number

2007-10-14T07:29:00.001-04:00

If Steely Dan can come out with an album about Pretzel Logic i'm going to talk about Cereal Logic.

Why is it that there is never an even number of bowls of cereal in a cereal box?? Think about how much cereal you've eaten in your life and now think about other things that you do all the time. You drive all the time; neither side of your car tires wear quicker (not to be confused with the front and back). You talk to lots of people; they can be broken down into a few personality groups. You won't run out of papertowels on the same day each month. I would imagine that the law of averages says eventually you'd pour a completely normal last bowl of cereal. Is that the case? Nope... you're craving Crunch Berries and get leftover sawdust or you go for one last bowl of Frost Mini Wheats and get an overflowing mound of pain. Don't even get me started on the milk situation. I have yet to be so desperate as to pour water and/or fruit juice on my Count Chocula however.

I'd be interested to know how the toilet paper roll goes. Mine usually has enough to give me one last good 'event,' but then again there much more incentive to be cognescent about how much TP i've got left than how much cereal i ate yesterday.

I've found one of the most amazing Blogs ever. It's permalinked on the right side there... Check out
Josh SpiegUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHL online.

Olivia went back to sleep... Daddy's got an appointment with the dream fairy.

Please meet your party at gate 4B

2007-10-11T20:47:00.002-04:00

Why is mayo so good? Take a look at the ingredients one time; you'll be amazed. It's just eggs and vinegar and yet it's sooo good. Angel's got a work function so i was forced to make dinner. Guess what i had? French fries and mayo.

Work is kicking my ass. I'm plowing through my 12th hour of work so far. I hate Visio. I more than hate it. I hope i find the bright mothereffer who coded this brilliant gem of production. STOP snapping to the grid!! Goddammit. I already checked it off. WHY WONT YOU STOP SNAPPING?? You know what else? Stencils. Typical Microsoft. Take a good idea and code it for the non-thinking masses. What's that you need creative help? Boy do we have a deal for you! We'll automatically color your title bar SHIT BROWN. WooooHooo!

I've noticed that my blog is starting to trend a little negative or cynical. Here's some positive power.

Before i met Angel i hated working in groups. I obhored those people who said 'group project this' and 'group project that.' I couldn't get past the fact that i spent as much time explaining myself or an idea as i did actually being productive. I never believed the people who said in their wedding vows, "May we be stronger as a couple than we were by ourselves..." or whatever they were spewing. I didn't believe it. How could someone be stronger with another person when they spent all that extra time communicating their intentions or thoughts? You know where i'm going with this.

Angel was the first person that made me realize there are people out there that make you stronger than you were as a single person. I can sit back and think about me and her and believe that i'm a stronger, better person because of the things she's given me. I am able to accomplish orders of magnitude more things than i would if i were going at it alone (a la raising children). She adds benefit to my life and is a valuable (complete understatement there) part of my being.

Coming to terms with this has also opened the doors to this type of thinking. Now i realize that i'm a stronger person because of my parents and when we're working together on a common project (even if it means trying to sway or encourage behavior) i'm doing better than if i was on my own.

Now this isn't to say i'm lost when i'm alone. I still have trouble working at work with a group. There are still things i hate being forced to do with a group, but i am better able to listen to what's going on and leverage a group's efforts than i used to be. Just don't ask me to team up and write a web program for a Limo service. I'm tired of hearing that one in interviews.

She Shaking Like Two Big Old Balloons In A Hurricane

2007-10-07T21:57:00.002-04:00

Olivia defiantly earned her money today... Actually the entire weekend.

She wasn't happy unless she was sitting on her butt in someone's lap. She even took it further and said, "if I’m not facing away from you looking around I’m gonna cry." I'm not joking.

She finally went to sleep, but before about half an hour ago she had been up for about 30 hours with no more than a couple of hour (or less) naps. She would cry out in her sleep and either wake up me, angel, or herself. Then things just kinda snowballed. If anyone wants to win an argument with me, it's best to do it at 2 am after I’ve been up every 90 mins since 8.30. I guarantee I won't be in my right mind.

We did wind up going out to have dinner with the parents and Dr Barry/Miss Allyn. Olivia was surprisingly well behaved... just as long as someone was holding her. It's the first time I’ve ever eaten a meal with a baby in my lap. I'm just glad she's not deliberately reaching for food yet. haha (dear Lord)

Work's going to be rough for the next two weeks. There's only three of us that actually have been around long enough to do any useful work. We hired two new guys but they are still really green, and despite my boss' affirmations; he's useless. Anyway, someone pissed off the scheduling gods because both of them are going to be out on implementations until the end of October. I used to love this crap... hey everyone! Look what I can do! Now it just makes my hair fall out.

I don't want to sound cynical... don't get me wrong. Things are going really nicely. Olivia is just having a bad few days, and it's quite possible that I could have two slow weeks at work and be more worried about looking busy than actually doing any real work.

Man... i just relized how poorly i spell. This version of firefox doesn't do spell check so i ran it through Office... I feel like i've been out of school for almost 5 years.

Using compact flourescent bulbs lowers your carbon footprint

2007-10-02T20:27:00.003-04:00

I have been meaning to write some stuff down, but you know me and procrastination... We're like strippers and dollar bills.

We had our first family pictures on saturday. We started out at that kids' place but quickly retreated and regrouped to JCPenny. You wouldn't believe the screamers at the kids' place. It was a zoo. JCPenny did a great job and the package we wanted was on sale. I'm not a big 'family portrait' kind of guy, but the proofs may have changed my opinion. I was really impressed with how they turned out and how nice (but not over the top bubbly nice) the girl who took care of us was. I'll have pictures posted in the next week or so.

So i haven't been completely so busy that i haven't had time to write. I've been geeking it out on the home front. I have come to the realization that i have too much crap at home. I've gotten better about it, but i have old RC parts laying around, and computer carcasses upstairs in both closets, etc. So i jacked some software from work and built a mail server. Not just any mail server, but a Lotus Domino mail and Sametime server. It's pretty boss and it doesn't cost me anything in terms of wifey real estate. Nothing to trip over, nothing to collect dust; bingo. A quick trip to networksolutions.com and osilayer8.com is mine for 5 years. I already had the *chump* server sitting around not doing anything; fold in some mid-level network config (do work son!) and i'm in bidness.

So hop over to http://domino01.osilayer8.com:88/stcenter.nsf for a look. I'm going to clean up the name, but i already host a web server so i couldn't use port 80... duh! I have plans on making it SSL so i can do away with the port 88 portion of the address, and your passwords and such will be impervious to man-in-the-middle attacks. I'm also taking email at dave@osilayer8.com if you're interested in sending me some pron. (no pron... really please).

I think i secretly want to try and start an ISP, but who the hell pays for dial up service any more? I'm trying to branch out and provide services that you couldn't otherwise get anywhere else. So far no luck... the gears are turning though.

I'm a bad father.

2007-09-11T03:20:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted any pictures at all of my daughter. I get flak from people at work, i get flak from Olivia, and i'm starting to get flak from Angel... That's not true. She's been really good about the hints to print pictures out, but i am just weird bout pictures. I dunno why.

This was my idea. Very artisté, no?

A big belly laugh...

Doing the baby thing.

Angel calls this one her Donald Trump face.

Just hanging out.

More to come. It's 4 in the morning and Angel is already thinking i'm a little weird by not being in bed. Olivia had four shots today (only one arm spared from being jabbed... the poor kid) but she was a trooper. Angel was more upset than she was. Olivia was a little fussy later on in the evening, but she just ate 4 oz and mom rocked her right to bed so i guess all is well.

The price of chicken is doing what?

2007-09-06T20:05:00.001-04:00

I dunno if i blogged this conversation, but i'll recap real quick because it's important to another conversation i had earlier today.

I know a guy who purchased a Three Brothers Pizza franchise and i absolutely love hearing his stories about the place. A bunch a months ago he was complaining about the price of chicken wings going way up. It turns out that the price of chicken was skyrocketing because the feed for the little rascals was being diverted from livestock to ethanol for biodiesel or something. I couldn't believe what i had just heard, but a quick google revealed my other people experiencing the same issue. It then clicked in my head that things people don't even realize are connected are very much so.

I'm sure that everyone who knows me knows that i work in a IT shop for a large transportation company. We ship a lot of beer, Costco stuff, Solo Cup, GE, and RE Michel (to name a few of the large dedicated fleets). The business has always been very seasonal. We start ramping up for the summer as early as March shipping beer; 4th of july and labor day are huge for us. The breweries have to run 24x7 to keep up with the demand and we're there to ship it. Like wise with goods for Costco and appliances/air conditioners for GE and RE Michel.

It turns out that this huge housing bubble-bursting-stockmarket-crashing-nopeople-buying event is messing with the transportation industry. I'm sure anyone can see that coming. People are buying less stuff so there's less to ship. Get this though... RE Michel has had to completely change their business plan and ramp up production of parts. See, people are buying less complete air conditioning units because of the money scare and are trying to repair and make the units last longer. Imagine that. People are scared of the market so a company sells more repair parts. It makes perfect sense now, but when it was being explained to me i was mystified.

The same is said about GeneralElectric. They are being forced to shut down their assembly lines (only during the weekend mind you) because no one's buying a refrigerator. An entire division of a company is doing poorly because the general public is so scared they're trying to be conservative and make what they have last. Can you imagine if the tree huggers all of a sudden got their way? Our entire country is setup around the spending and wanton abandonment of disregard of the dollar. That's not where i was going with this point. I don't want to bash the tree huggers because they have as many rights as the SUV driving soccer moms with one kid. Just imagine what our society is built around though... very scary to me.

Who the hell is Robert Goulet anyway??

this page intentionally left blankunani

2007-09-05T03:27:00.001-04:00

I couldn't come up with a good title... i'm just drawing a complete blank; weird, huh?

So i think i just got done with a bought of food poisoning. Now i know you all are unanimously booing and complaining. I know, i know. It's like sun poisioning. Everyone seems to take pride in letting people know they've had food poisoning. I can say with some certainty that i really had something however. Label it what you wish. Besides, what do i care if you're on my side or not anyway? :-)

Saturday evening me and the family spent some time over Angel's mom's house helping her (somewhat) get ready for her Labor day blowout bash on sunday. Around 8ish in the evening Angel's sister and dad went out to get McDonalds (Britney's staple food). I wound up wolfing down a Select Crispy Chicken sandwhich (i wanted a crispy chicken, but couldn't remember that it was called a McChicken. I kinda knew i was in trouble when i saw the 'Select Sandwhich' box that i wasn't going to be happy with it anyway. Britney got a fish sandwhich i think and me and Angel split some fries.

On sunday i had this cramp/pit thing right under my ribcage and i was in a weird mood. I didn't think much of it even though i had it throughout the day, and i had a good appetite so i just let it be.

Monday i woke up and felt like i had a hangover. I was really lethargic and if i stood up too fast or something i got the spins. It felt like i had drank 10 beers on sunday. Thankfully we didn't have anything planned and wound up heading over to my parents around 1ish. I caught a nap on the hammock outside (happy labor day!) which was amazing by the way. I just couldn't seem to catch up on sleep. At the same time i didn't have any appetite and i don't think i ate anything the entire day. We had some laundry waiting for us back at home so we wound up leaving a little bit later in the afternoon. Angel called to talk to her mom and see how the party went and found out that Britney had the same symptoms i had. She was about 12 hours earlier than me though. Lots of stinky farts with cramps and no appetite. I didn't find out if she was dizzy.

Yesterday morning i woke up still hungover. I somehow managed to get in the shower but i felt like i was going to fall over or puke. After just a couple of minutes i got out and fell back into bed. There was no way i was going to make it to work and be useful. I honestly felt i would crash my car or something. I would up going into work around 10ish (i've proven to myself that i have a problem with work. I'm addicted or something. More on this later) and eating just a salad from Chopstixx for lunch.

So here i am T +50 hours and i'm doing better. I just ate the last of a Kaluha cake and some whole milk. I made some cornbread muffins last night, but they're asstastic, so i think the cat will get them.

I know this is a horribly narrated story, but i'm still a little out of it and it's 3.41am. I'll put something better together next time. I was just really surprised at how much i felt like i was hungover. Now i know why i don't binge drink anymore.

You say poTAHto

2007-08-30T05:59:00.001-04:00

We've birthed a barometer. I'm serious.

Working in IT has made me pretty superstitious. I was always a rabbit's foot kinda guy, but 3 years in the industry has put me in a place to understand that someone is watching and that someone likes to tap you on the shoulder in a crowded bar sometimes. More on this later, but it's important to set the stage.

The other morning Olivia woke up just as bright and cheery as she possibly could. She was smiling so hard that it looked like she was having a seizure. And we couldn't do anything to mess her up... leg behind the head to change her; nothing. Walk out of the room saying, 'we're leaving and not coming back;' giggle. It was amazing. Normally when she's put in the car seat she flies to an angry 0-60 in seconds; more laughing. And the funny part was (i didn't notice it) it was a good day at work. Tough, but good. Yesterday was the complete opposite. We couldn't cheer her up for anything. As soon as someone was out of eyesight she would fire up and cry. Didn't want to eat, didn't want to sit.... nothing was working except the car ride. She's a car ride whore, and it always puts her out. Don't stop the car though. You better have long arms and the ability to rock a car seat while driving in traffic.

So back to my bad day. Here it is, a dark stage set by my breathing barometer and things start to break at work. What was really cool was i completely called it as soon as i got in. Everyone knew that i thought today was going to be a bad day and why. Shortly there after two of our terminal servers start acting goofy. There's nothing in common with these two that would cause them to start acting flaky. One just stopped listening on an *important tcp port and the other decided it wanted to change the program it opened crystal reports with. Funny, huh? Shortly there after Acrobat stopped working on the one and *may require a rebuild. I hate adobe.

After my missed lunch the internet started wigging out. Now this isn't anything new for this circuit. It's been bothersome ever since we moved in. My point is it's been stable for about two months with no issues. The tickets start rolling in; internet is slow... this web site is down... the WHOLE INTERNET is broke... you've heard this stuff on TV. ring ring... hello verizon? Yes, i'd like to report trouble with our data circuit. What's that? Right. I know you can see our interface, but we're taking huge amounts of crc errors and we have no throughput. Okay. Yes, i've reset the enterprise router that has operated for the last 15 months without a reboot. No we haven't changed anything in the last 15 months on the router config. I understand you don't see any errors, but we're seeing them here at the local loop. Yes, it's okay to completely disconnect the service while you test it for 2 hours. OH...MY...GOD....

I survived, but only because i had this gem waiting for me at home.

No... i'm not all of a sudden interested in... i don't even know how to work in that one. I'll drop a few hints.

80's movie
Gang is known in small town for being a bunch of badasses
Gutterboy
Rughead
Packard
Charlie Sheen
Crazy insane car
Road Races
Revenge with explosions killing gang guys
Revenge with car crashes killing gang guys

Nothing yet? If this doesn't do it, then i might as well be talking to myself.

Okay... Okay... i realize that this movie stood out in my head probably more than most because i was destined to be a car guy. Here's two more.

Of course like any 80's movie it was pretty disappointing and i couldn't sit down and watch it from start to finish without jogging the little scrubber slider. But hey, it's part of my collection and that car was every bit as badass as i remember it being.

What's broke??

2007-08-25T10:09:00.002-04:00

I can't believe what just happened. Stay with me here... it's get hairy.

Yesterday was friday. If you'd say that with a 2 month old baby i don't really have any normal fridays anymore you'd probably be right. Me and Angel are so tired that when friday comes it's just another day. We don't realize the benefit of the wonderous day until saturday morning when we don't have to get ready for work after waking up at 5am to feed little Livvy.

So last night i somehow managed to stay up until 11.30. That's right... almost to midnight. Angel tapped out around 9.30ish, but i kept strong. I didn't really do anything besides watch tv and surf the web a little (not even some playstation action). I eventually ran out of gas and couldn't keep my eyes open and retired to the bedroom where Angel and Olivia were out/out. After an awesome run of sleep Olivia got up at her normal 5am feeding, cried a lot (she's on a good schedule but when she wakes up she's fiercly hungry and not having a full range of emotions yet you'd think she's got a knife sticking out of her leg or something), and then went right back to bed. Now, i'm not going to take the glory here... Angel jumped up and fed the O without any hiccups or hesitation (i on the other hand take forever to wake up and get moving and it catches up to me when i'm trying to put the little bundle of joy back to bed). Afterwards both of us slept soundly until 7.30 at which point i woke up and would have bet the farm it was at least 10. Then... get this... we fell asleep AGAIN until about 20 mins ago. It was amazing. Angel is still sleeping off the disbelief.

So here i am watching some *horrible teenie-bopper sweet 16 show on MTV (i weep for the youth) and both mom and baby are enjoying their weekend.

Lobster sticks to magnet!

2007-08-22T22:48:00.001-04:00

Remember that one? Ahh... the memories of college. I wasn't even high back then and that shit was hilarious. Can you imagine if i was smok.... nevermind.
i've come to realize that my blog is way better in my head. I'm just not translating the grey matter correctly. I need a renaissance or something up in this bitch.

Oh, by the way... i'm sitting her away from my nice warm wife and comfortable bed waiting (yes waiting) for the qualcom poller at work to crash. I'm so screwed up lately that i don't even know what the hell i'm doing to fix the problem, and yet here i am... almost 11 at night just resetting it manually. You'd think i was out of my mind. I probably am and i'll notice it in two weeks when i reread this blog from the looney bin.

You remember the story about Icarus... the guy who flew too close to the sun and his shit melted? That's me... I can't excel at work because of this stupid ceiling. I don't even know where it comes from. At any rate when i get too close to it i wind up being knocked back a peg. Now i know why people start their own businesses.

I know what would fix this though... a couple of servants. Yeah... and maybe a boat with Yeah, a big boat and oh, maybe two bags of cash, you know, the ones with the big cartoon dollar signs on the front. The lotto is $210 million. Hell... with that much money i'd write everyone who reads my blog a $50k check.

Now that i'm completely off topic (and the poller crashed completely negating my fix) i realize that all i wanted to do was talk about Lobster Magnet. Google it.

*shakes head.... They Jumped the Shark

2007-08-06T19:42:00.002-04:00

I'm a big fan of Pinks... there's so much to like about it. Fast cars, lots of torque, bragging, being an asshole, and haggling. It's hilarious how these people negotiate... Especially the good old boys who think they're rocket scientists because they've owned a transmission shop for the last 20 years.
Well, it's a bad day in Daveville boys and girls. Pinks has officially run out of material. I was just flipping through channels and saw it was on. After only a few seconds (...change the bottle!...i'm gonna need 2 lengths... give me 1.75....) i saw that they were racing snowmobiles. Not just any snowmobiles, but snowmobiles retrofitted with rubber track tread so they can do BURNOUTS!!! I feel like i should be watching NASCAR or something... *moves head in a circle.... sip. 'Yep'

So here's to you Pinks. It was really fun while it lasted, but i guess everyone runs out of new stuff eventually. It's too bad your writers didn't take their idea seriously, and had to throw some seasoning in there.

Oh, by the way... it's 2.50 in the morning. Olivia put down 3 oz of the good stuff and seems to be sleeping nicely. Until (i'm sure) i goto put her in her *real crib to goto sleep. She's so active with the arms and legs we're seeing her turned sideways in the crib when she wakes up for her first feeding. It's kinda funny to wake up all sleepy and disoriented to look down and ask yourself why she's 90 degrees out in the crib.

Just in time for christmas... Randy Butler!

2007-07-31T05:42:00.002-04:00

I have no idea who Randy Butler is. I think my niche should be writing twisted fortune cookies. I dunno.

I do know it's 5.30am and i've already been ganged up on. My house is full of estrogen; even if it's a non-human analog or fake estrogen produced by an immature hypothalamus. My house is full of women. Now i usually don't mind, but when they all gang up on me i start to take notice and wonder who's rolling my dice up there.

The cat's almost always in heat. I can't rub her face without starting the cycle. I know she should be neutered, but there's shots involved, time off from work, and money that we really don't have. Sorry cat.

Then there's Olivia. It's pretty much the same thing, but we're obligated to spend money and time. I'm okay with that. It's funny how much a baby smile is worth. What's that? My car got totaled by an uninsured driver in my front yard? Cool... Olivia's smiling at me right now, i'll take a look later. It's a good thing other hard things come with an infant otherwise i'm sure the youth of america would be having babies just to get addicted to seeing them smile. Like, when she's hungry... look the fuck out. (pardon my french) There's a 4 minute window from the time you wake up (the second time) to the time you need to get a bottle in her mouth. She doesn't scream per se, but she does do those deep, rough grunting cries that make you think someone's sawing her arm off.

Angel's sleeping and i don't have much on her anyway.

At any rate, like i said, when i get ganged up on... i want to jump off the roof. The baby starts crying and flailing her arms around(of course i can't find a clean bottle fast enough) at the same time the cat starts that hollow meeeeeeOOOOOOOOOWWWing and banging her head into stuff. And it's even more surreal than that; she's slinking around like there's barbed wire over her and don't look into her eyes. She'll really pour it on and you'd think you were at McDougals. Angel tells me she only starts that when i get home.

I took a step back this morning and realized that someone must be screwing with me. All i'm missing in a dwarf dancing around dressed up in a jester suit riding a unicycle.

On a lighter note, anyone hear about the helicopter crash out in Phoenix? The driver of the chase car (on the ground mind you) "could face murder charges...." That's right kids... drive a car followed by voyeuristic news paparazi and you could be responsible for their medical conditions caused by the increased stomach acid the exciting situation causes.

Like... Manilla hot

2007-07-14T09:32:00.001-04:00

Everyone talks about the weather... i'm not going to be any different.

double-you-tee-eff? Last week it was dismal around here. My car's temperature thing never got below 100˚ Never got below 100!! On a related note, you know how much we're paying for a kilowatt hour now? 11 cents. 11 GD cents. I looked at last years BG&E bills and noticed that we were paying 4 cents. My poor kid... people talk about how kids today won't be able to afford their own house because of the price of real estate. Who the hell wants a house if you're paying 93 cents a kilowatthour to cool it? I might as train Olivia to live in a tent; she'll be happier.

So then we got those wicked rain/thunder storms. We haven't gotten much in the way of rain or thunderstorms so it was kinda nice... that is until the power starts flickering at work. Then our entire department flashes into action and dillegently watches the generator out of the window to make sure it fires up... one... two... three... it should be on by now... four... five... shit... c'mon baby... six... seven... VROOM! That's right... there's a little delay. I'm telling you, we've got so much untapped wealth at my job; if someone could just get it all on tape.

Besides ranting on the weather... oh right. I was going somewhere with that last paragraph. So after the rain storms it was still hot, and miserable, and humid. I thought it was supposed to be (just a little) cooler after a huge ass rain storm. It's not. Forgot i was in Maryland. But wait... it gets better. The next morning i'm rolling out da house for work and get smacking in the face by 65˚ air. I'm just going to roll over and give up. It's hotter in my house at 7am than it is outside in the sun. I don't stand a chance.

On a lighter note. Things are going pretty well on the home front. Angel just got a hair cut (she doesn't like it) that i really like. Olivia is doing just as well. We've managed to con Angel's sister into watching her while we went out to have a nice dinner; we were both exhausted by 9 (on a friday). I love being a parent... That's not fair. I really do enjoy this. Me and Olivia got up this morning to watch the sun come up. I haven't seen so many sunrises in my entire life. She's usually sleeping by that time, but i'll have some good stories when she brings home the boyfriends.

:-)

It's the subtleties in life.

2007-06-24T07:47:00.001-04:00

I have a ripping case of swimmers ear and neither me nor angel can find the damn peroxide... what did you say? heh?

I've noticed that there are certain people who i don't get a long with. There's an intriguing example of such a person that i deal with fairly frequently, and i'd like to use that person as an example. I've done a fair amount of should searching to try and grow out of this (thinking perhaps it was my fault i didn't give a fair chance) and continue to come back to the same conclusion.

The other day i was getting a hair cut and looking up a few articles from my phone. I came across a 'dear-abby' letter about a guy who hated his inlaws because they were from the sticks and he was from the city. They had clashing ideas about everything and the article rambled on with his cliche red neck bashings. It got me thinking however that people don't get along with other people all the time for really big stuff. This guy had an issue with an entire family; it doesn't get much broader than that.

I'm done asking myself if i'm in the wrong; i know i'm not. I've given my fair share of chances and, like i said, keep coming back to the same conclusion. It's sad though because we've connected before a few times. It's like when the guys on that boat in Perfect Storm see sunlight through the clouds and then it's taken away.

I think the issues i have with this person stem from their family life. Without getting into too many details i'll just say that there are an estranged party or two and another party who is trying way to hard to find happiness. Maybe that's not the right way to go about explaining that plight. Maybe i'm just picking up on the fact that the sibling has taken too long to find a niche. You know what? I can't explain this without detail. I'm re-reading this and i seem like an ass. I know people take their entire lives to find their niche... It's the fact that the sibling had a good niche for 10 years or something and.. forget it.

See? i know this doesn't translate well (and it's my fault for not being articulate) in the written world, but then again maybe these gripes are so subtle that i don't have a good grasp on them yet. Maybe they are so small and meaningless to someone else that i could never explain them to someone else.

Living in the bubble

2007-06-20T19:04:00.003-04:00

Olivia is amazing. She's actually starting to look around and notice things. She rarely cries and then it's because something is up. She's sleeping *mostly through the night(but there's definatly still room for improvement there) and is on a much better eating schedule. We're still trying to figure out those wildcard cries that she gives when she's normally in the mood for food but wants her pacifier instead. Learning to throw curves at men already...

Vacation's been interesting. In spite of the good luck we're having with Livvy and how proud i am to be a dad i'm in a little funk. I think it's cause i usually get up at 4am and then are too wound up to take a nap. I managed to take one today and didn't wake up until 3 o'clock. Even after that i felt guilty about 'wasting' they day. Weird, huh?

I'm not complaining however. It's nice to sit around and do nothing. I've almost caught up on scanning all those backlogged bills and paper work. Believe it or not scanning a mound of paperwork can be a little therapeutic to me sometimes.

Angel is doing better. Her little belly is going down to her satisfaction and she just realized that she really does *indeed have skinny (and VERY sexy) feet. I guess the swelling associated with the pregnancy water has abated. Either way she's still a 10 in my book. Especially since seeing her feeding Olivia. :-)

Going back to work tomorrow evening to tie up some stuff and then a full day on friday. Angel's said she's a little anxious about me starting work again and has called in the troops to keep her occupied at home while i'm out.

The Battle of the Buldge

2007-06-18T12:52:00.002-04:00

One of the low-times at the hospital showed very clearly that i'm not always in control of my mind.

I made a lot of realizations about the symantecs of a hospital. One of the less complicated ones is that you never sleep. Even if the baby has come and is not even in your room you are assaulted by a barrage of people who have been tasked with keeping you up all night. This includes, but is not limited to nurses coming in at 12, 3, and 6 to take my wife's vitals. Each time they recommend that she get some sleep. It's also inclusive of irate pregnant women walking the halls armed with IV poles and gushing hormones, and dilapidated ice machines that make more noise than my dad's '78 ford 460.

So right about day three of our hospital stay (i think this was the night Olivia was born) i went to sleep with a very pissed of mind. After trying to get some zzz's on a recliner that was pretty much a reconditioned torture device from the old medical school, the nurses and techs taking Angel's vitals, the person that just flew out of my wife, and that feeling you get when you've stayed at a hotel for a week and can't wait to get home i was pretty well fried.

So like i said i was trying to get some shut eye right about the third or fourth day and my mind wigged out. There was a debate going on up there between this polished suave guy and some underdog. I don't know if i'd call it a debate actually... it was more of a battle of wits. I was too tired to try and understand what each of the people said so i was just basing my opinion of the fight based on how i felt after each person was done talking, and i gotta say that the suave guy was winning. I remember thinking once or twice after each was done their retort, "That didn't make any sense," but the crowd would applaud or heckle whomever spoke last. That's right... there was a crowd.

Thinking back, i'm surprised that the underdog did so poorly. I mean it was dismal. He wouldn't say anything sometimes when it was his turn, and other times he would just fall flat on his face with a comment. That's not to say that Mr Right was attacking him. It felt more like a structured plan to find the holes (which were very obvious) in Underdog's armor and after dancing around making it known that he knew where the holes were jabbing a little knife in there. To me it was like riding a wave of congnescent thought. I don't have a good analogy other than that. Or maybe making lazy turns in a little Cessnia plane would feel. That smooth back and forth or up and down motion where you could do something just for the sake of doing something.

At any rate i was surprised at the clarity of my daydream and was perhaps even more surprised that such a scene played out in my head. I'm not usually the one to think about something like that.

Package has been delivered

2007-06-18T12:39:00.002-04:00

This is the first installment of a few posts concerning Miss Olivia Paige Nowicki.
First, let me tell you how humbling a child is. I had a realization while in the hospital that i couldn't remember one issue or problem i've had that means anything. There's not a person i've met at work that means anything to me. All those deep psychological conversations i've had about addiction (not my addiction dummy) and life styles and everything else that i've used to excercise my mind and feel better about myself means shit.
You know what hard work is? Taking 3 hours to put my baby to sleep. There's not a switch configuration or citrix server on the face of the planet that is more complicated. There's not a business decision or meeting that i've participated in where i've been more tired and run down than standing next to my little girl's cradle. And yet that it the most important thing i've ever done. It's a very humbling experience to have a baby, and i haven't seen anything yet.

My blood ran a little cold once or twice on the second night. I wouldn't be able to survive an experience like this if i didn't have someone like Angel. I think back on past situations and realize that if i was in that life now with events going on like i've got going on now (namely the baby) i would be unhappy and the kid wouldn't have a chance. That's how i know Angel is my soul mate, and i haven't seen her be a mom yet.

If i was completely inept at writing i could call Olivia's birth amazing. If i was a Hemmingway or Steinbeck i could write volumes of what i saw. Never have i seen more come from a group of people than i did in the delivery room; that goes for all parties involved. I am still trying to understand how i felt when she popped out and started crying. When's the last time you were in a situation and had no inclination as to how you would feel. Or better yet when is the last time you didn't have an expectation of how something would feel? All i know is that i felt like i belonged right there. I knew that i belonged at that point in time to hold her little hand and say something that made me feel like i was comforting her.

So here's to you Miss Olivia.
June 14th at 2:32 in the afternoon after making you mom labor for 14 hours. (she only had to push for 40 mins)

No more funny titles....

2007-06-18T12:34:00.001-04:00

I’ve had another realization that I would make an awesome philanthropist. Wound up going to the mall at lunch with my boss; I don’t know any other way to describe him other than manic. He has these ways of thinking and doing things that he’ll never change, and once he’s got a method all of a sudden it’s the best method in the world and everyone should do it.

So he is heading to Bath and Body works today because they are having a sale on soap. It’s those glycerin soaps that smell really good, right? Well they’re only a dollar a piece instead of the normal $15. Once we’re in the mall heading towards the shop he tells me that I may have to buy some for him cause the sale could be restricted. Then it dawns on me that he’s buying big. 50 bars big.

What kind of grown man guys 50 bars of soap at Bath and Body works? Sounds manic, right? Sounds like something is up (on many different levels), right? Turns out he isn’t so much different than the majority of people. While we’re standing there the lady starts fighting with the sku thing and begins to make it known that she’s a talker. Not just a gabber talker, but she’s got a little shine going on (yes… from the Shining). Two things happen next. The first is that Corporate has taken away the qty button making each item a scannable little bundle of crinkled sku joy. Second is that fact that guys (yes guys) come in and buy in bulk more than my fearless leader here. That’s right… she told this story about a guy (yes guy) who bought like 80 green algae body scrub washes. What’s even better is as she’s telling it a guy clerk (yes guy) pipes up and asks if she’s talking about that customer who bought 80 body scrubs yesterday. Then it hits me. This is another one of those people loops that would be amazing if you dug deeper. This is normal behavior for a large chunk of population, and if I could get an ‘in’ with the right people I could watch this behavior and find out why it happens. It’s really interesting stuff.

The second thing going on here is the missing qty button. I’m probably going to come across as an asshole here, but allow me to rant. This is a great example of how we dumb down society for the lowest common denominator. I imagine the following scenario leading up to the decision to take away the quantity button:

Holy crap! We’re missing 900 bars of Moonlight path soap! Start a witch hunt.

The problem repeats itself next month but this time a lot of Aloe Vera scent goes AWOL. A prudent manager at the local shop realizes that this could be an issue and starts another witch hunt. The scenario starts to be repeated by stores around the country. Corporate becomes involved.

Through countless resource drains it’s realized that the manager hired a less that astute employee. In fact, (and this is the point no one gets) these shops are magnets for less-than-astute people.

Corporate has a realization that there’s an epidemic with their soaps and dumps countless resources tracking down the issue. It turns out that there’s an important difference between Aloe Vera and Moonlight Path scents. A decision is made NOT to train the mangers to train the employees to use the qty button correctly, and instead Corporate goes on a tour of duty to replace each register across the country sans qty button.

Once again, this is the type of behavior that is really interesting to me. Of course, i'm sure there are 15 other scenarios here explaining why the qty button is gone, but how interesting are those? Maybe there's a deeper meaning to one of those explanations. I dunno.

The word is the herb and i'm deep like Bob Marley

2007-05-30T10:17:00.003-04:00

Okay... i admit it... this is the second quote i've taken from Tribe. And the funny part is they are from the same song. Classic.

It's been nuts around the house. We're almost done the baby's room. Angel is feeling the pains of having a basketball in her stomach and i'm feeling the burn of nesting. That's right... i'm nesting. Shaddup

I'm anxious and feel like the projects are piling up. You know what i do to calm the nerves? Cut the grass. It only works once every couple of days, but there's just something about doing manual labor that puts the mind at ease.

You get pretty bad firehole butcha know....

2007-05-20T21:31:00.001-04:00

So we're *almost* officially out of time with our pregnancy. Angel has started having contractions throughout the day... she had 30 today. 30!!
I'm not really sure what to think about this. The overnight doc says when she starts having 6 an hour it's time to head to Labor and Delivery.

This is an old post that never made it to the publishing. Tells you how busy i've been, huh? I'll get an update together later... got a good blog to post now.

Let's see you try to virtualize my Layer 3 bridge

2007-05-17T14:50:00.001-04:00

First off, let me say that I’m an undeniably a caffeine addict. I’ve been having a really (really) shitty week. Outlook wise… my job’s not as full filling, I’m stressing about any little thing, etc. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not using my blog as an outlet here. I’m not complaining so someone will take notice or have pity on me. I’m saying this because it’s important to the story. So I’m having this bad week and I’m feeling agitated and mean and everything else bad about me that I can feel on the way to 7-11 to get a sandwich (which, incidentally I’m going to wolf down before any of my coworkers finish standing in line for a microwave) and I get a Bawls’. I love Bawls… it’s better than RedBull in my latest opinion.
Here I am 30 mins later and I’m done all my prep work for tonight’s big upgrade. I’m thinking clearly, in a better mood, and I like my job again. It’s scary how well my outlook on things has changed. It might be psychosomatic, but then again aren’t most things? (that last statement was not meant to discredit my hypothesis).
So here’s the next job I really want. I want to find a group of people who will pay me to sit back and watch people interact. Not just like the psychologist kind of thing but to go around to McDonalds’ around the country and see how people talk. Or go to bars and see how people break up with each other. My special projects would be to follow a small group of people (or even a husband and wife) around long term and write a book or something about every aspect of their interactive lives. This would only be interesting if I could capture everything; completely everything. I really think that with articles or books with that kind of information we could make some serious headway with how we market things or debate important points, or even how we learn. At any rate it would be a fun job and I think it would take a while before I got bored with it.

Camp Onowana... we hold you in our heart...

2007-05-15T20:59:00.001-04:00

I came to the sad realization today that i'll always be unhappy (on the whole) with any job i have. The win in my situation is that i've realized why i'll always be unhappy and i guess it makes it a little more bearable.
All of my other jobs (all two of them) were at small mom-and-pop places. I was always attached to these jobs and i enjoyed going to work even when the boss showed his ugly side. On the drive home yesterday i realized that at each of those jobs i was close enough to the top to feel like i could make a difference in the company or i agreed with the credo enough to feel like i really belonged there.
This isn't the case with corporate america. Think about how far away most people are from a position where they can make a difference in the company they work for. I used to think that my 'job well done' meant something, but in reality it doesn't make the company that much better. Going a little broader than that it could be said that nothing i can do will steer the company one way or another. I don't have any bearing on the future of my job. I think it's this kind of realization that makes people fall into a rut with their job. I mean, other than getting a paycheck or establishing friendships that will make my position more valuable why am i working for the place i'm working for? I couldn't come up with a good answer.
That got me thinking about what i really liked about my other jobs. I liked the work and i liked the people i worked for. I had respect for the people that kept the business running and enjoyed the 90 hour weeks. I understood that leading by example was more powerful than any other method. At a corporate job there are people just like me who have begun to think the system owes them something (another side effect of my point earlier) and have no loyalty for their position. It's the beginnings of a viscous circle and it stems from feeling as if you have no bearing on the company you work for.

On a lighter note... Angel got her first stretch marks. They are the small ones that will go away when she's got a tan on, but to her they're grand canyon marks on her belly. I think she's as sexy as ever and would date her all over again today if she showed up at work (in white satin thigh highs and a nightie... pregnant belly and all).

Then I crank up video card to the MAX!!

2007-05-09T18:42:00.001-04:00

I've been to as many church functions in the last three months as i ever had and i've come to the realization that i still don't quite know how to wrap my mind around it.
I was at a wedding inside a really nice modern cathedral complete with huge wooden wood supports and lots of white and i couldn't help but think i was glad to be married outside on the beach. I wasn't deaf to the spiritual things happening in the church during the wedding, but it just felt too stiff or postulated. I dunno. It's hard to mess up the waves, wind, and sand under your feet. (this paragraph sounds nothing like the thoughts i had earlier in my head... i need to take notes on myself)
I was at a funeral at one of these big echoing catholic churches where everyone in the pews says, "and let it be so" or "lord hear our prayers" or whatever else is said. How do you know what to say when the Decon or whatever the guy is called says what he says? Why is it important to reiterate (after a Decon no less) "lord hear our prayers?" Wasn't the channel already opened by the clergy? If i'm making the connection to whomever do i still need to say the tagline? It doesn't make any sense.
And another thing (i'm starting to ramble on about the church and this isn't where i want to go)... why do people have to stop in the middle of the isle to kneel and cross themselves? As the ceremony was wrapping up the priest began communion and said, "and please... only those who have been baptized to the catholic church and are in grace should partake in this communion." Wow... so much for give me your sick, weary, and otherwise suffering people and i'll give you reprise.
My feelings were mixed about the comparison between a wedding and a funeral. It's just odd to me that these gatherings and rituals happen all the time. I go into each with an open mind and to see what everyone gleans from the experience; i don't have anything yet.

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously

2007-05-02T12:36:00.001-04:00

Angel and I have been busting our asses (with her doing more than I would like) to finish the upstairs and get moved in. We were able to get our room painted and moved pretty quickly (at the expense of a huge closet with no shelves or hanger rods) but I’m starting to get fed up with the painting. I’m a huge perfectionist so that means that I’m cutting in with an art brush the size of a pencil and it takes a while. I mean… I understand that if I want to make it look like I want it to it’s going to take a while, so don’t bash me here either. It’s just that painting is turning out to be more of a time investment than I would have imagined.
So we’re sitting back Sunday evening with open windows blowing around the new paint smell and Angel makes me realize that we’re going to have a baby up here in a month… that’s right. In a month. I was floored. I still am floored. Weekends have just risen on the commodity list tenfold. On top of that it’s making me realize that we’re going to have a baby in a month. A baby!
I also realized this weekend the allure of an SUV. Have you tried to fold up a stroller lately? One of the new ones that has car seat built in, or the bigger tires, or the frilly crap, or a sun guard? It’ll fit in your trunk, but that’s it. Nothing else has a chance. What am I supposed to do with scuba gear, luggage, picnic basket, or… god forbid a diaper bag and food? I have to smash it in the trunk (good luck) or put it next to the kid on the back seat of the car. Either way I’m screwed for room. Now what if we really have to pack a bunch of stuff or there is a friend (or another kid)? My 4 door is at full capacity. This is another realization that I’m dealing with. Goddamn capitalists.
Don’t let me make a bad point though; I cannot wait to see the little girl who has been kicking my wife’s insides for the last five months. We both can’t wait to see what she looks like. I can’t wait to see what her mannerisms are, and hear her coos when she’s got a slimy fist stuffed in her mouth (her’s of course). I don’t think I’ve ever been facing such a front and been so happily expecting.

Don't try to suck me down into your vortex of insanity!

2007-04-25T14:40:00.001-04:00

I realized that I’m a geek in the strictest sense of the word over the weekend. I used ‘dark fiber’ in my house as an mean to an end.
Olivia’s almost out (that’s our daughter) and Angel is starting to nest. The plan was to move our bedroom from downstairs (next to the kitchen… mmm) to the guest room upstairs and the office would be moved downstairs (next to the kitchen… mmm). This would leave a room open for Oliva across the hall from our bedroom.
We were finished painting our bedroom and managed to move both the office and bedroom on Sunday. This left Olivia’s room empty and ready to be painted. It also disrupted network operations at home base. You see we do that thing where we take a powerful antenna and kinda (for testing purposes) look for wifi signals. The good thing about having a second floor office is that you’re able to see more signals. There’s bupkis downstairs.
So now I’ve got contention in my plans. I’m upset about moving rooms (it’s funny how much you grow accustomed to a routine), upset about the new smells, upset that I can’t drop my towel in the same spot I’ve dropped it for the past year, and now… no internet. WTF.
Every once in a while I get fringe benefits at work; nothing fancy, and most of it just winds up in the dumpster anyway. I did manage to get my house cabled for the low price of some cookies and a case of Pepsi. I’ve got two coax runs to each room (one runs to the basement and is split for cable, and one is a direct run to the attic for DirecTV). There’s no DirecTV yet so those five homeruns to the attic aren’t being used. After a quick search on Google (how the hell did we look up this stuff before the internet? Think about that one next time you’re on the pooper) I learned that coax should probably carry the WiFi signal, and it makes sense; copper is copper, right?
After a bunch of finagling and toning I found the right cable in the attic, and after even more pissing, moaning, and finagling I managed to get a signal to the gateway PC in the newly located office. It’s amazing how resilient computer signals are. I mean, this vibration travels 1000 feet down the road through a house wall, trees, light posts, etc, and then is passed along a copper wire that is spliced with bubblegum and foil duct tape throughout my house and I STILL get 6MB download speeds. I didn’t expect it to work, but here I am. No loss of functionality.

Never call a cab while inside a public restroom.

2007-03-07T12:28:00.001-05:00

Let me begin by recounting a lunch break to Baja-Fresh with my coworkers on a sunday (yes... sunday).
We were all sitting at a table and the discussion was on something politcal and all of a sudden everyone notices this heavyset woman breastfeeding. There wasn't any nipple or anything; the fact that she was breastfeeding was given away by the ample armpit cleavage visible. I derailed the conversation by asking our lead political advisor if he thought that should be made illegal. I quote, "I don't personally have a problem with it and don't think there should be a law, but since we're banning everything else, so why not that?"

Very asstute...

So what do i think about public breastfeeding? I'm actually asking it outloud; not to setup a dialog, but because i really don't know what i think. I mean, it's a 100% natural thing to do for sure, but what is it about public breastfeeding that people cringe at? Is it like public kissing? Are people attracted to it but at the same time not? Maybe it's because they don't think boobs should be used that way? Maybe they follow the 'too much information' sect and dont' think the woman should be exposing her boob in public based on general principles. I dunno.

Let's tackle this from a different angle. I don't know how i would feel if Angel did it. I mean, i know that she wouldn't even think about it (maybe i should be having a conversation with her), but if she did i dunno how i would feel. I guess this angle isn't helping.

Maybe things would be different if porn stars did it. It could be that there's stigma associated with the type of woman witha baby who would whip out a boob in public to feed a baby. I'm not saying that for sure because i don't know any women who do it. I'm not saying it's a sex thing, or a women's lib thing, or any of that crap. I'm just saying that i would have to talk to a woman who's comfortable doing it to learn something. Maybe it's just a 'the baby's hungry and i've got boobs' thing.

I sport New Balance sneakers to avoid a narrow path.

2007-02-25T11:55:00.001-05:00

You know what's the best? Waking up on a sunday at 7 o'clock, realize it's 7 o'clock get a Mtn Dew read a kick ass Wikipedia article on Sin City and fall asleep until 11.30. But wait... it gets better. I look outside and it's SNOWING! Those nice heavy wet flakes. Then we're reminded that we have live with a codependent cat as she claws at the door, meows, throws herself at the door, and then does that little thing where she tries to pulls open the door by reaching under it. It's hilarious cause all you see is this little gray hand reaching from under the door waggling back and forth. I got up to let her in and she did the obligatory long meeeeeow and ran straight to Angel's hair purring and slobbering.

Now that it's the weekend i've been able to unwind and random thoughts of the week pop into my head. You know what i realized yesterday? Wednesday or Thursday last week i ate more than one type of food that was pink for breakfast. There was some weird pink juice and a poptart that oozed some pink concoction. Can you imagine back in the day of gunslingers, horse and buggys, and pocketwatches if you ate something for break fast that wasn't yellow or brown; let alone pink? I don't really know how this makes me feel though. I mean, it fits right in with the double shot venti half lattes with extra cream, but still. What does this say about how our kids are going to grow up?

We're finding out that everything is attracted to Angel's belly. She must have changed shirt 5 times yesterday morning (well... maybe not that many) because stuff kept falling on her belly. I also got to feel Oliva kick yesterday at KrispyKreme. Once you stop laughing you should realize that it could have been worse... we could have been at WalMart hon.

Owen Wilson's your dad?

2007-02-18T16:21:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was almost a landslide. Wait a minute... i can't really say that. Let me back up a little bit.

There's a family business floating somewhere out there in Glen Burnie that evidently i'm the computer guy for. Normally it's just stupid web stuff and dumb DSL questions. (I'm a web-dirt ball and use skills gleaned from Pagemill back in the 90's; tells you how 'hard' i work on that) The old register computer started having issues a month or two ago and of course the business owner came calling. Look... i work with the newest servers in a million dollar datacenter. I rely on backups to backups and redundant systems that i can finagle to minimize downtime. The last thing i really want to do is work on a Win 95 machine that runs a DOS program on a machine that is failing.

Things collated yesterday with a visit to the IT sinkhole to try getting the new machine up and running. The Point of Sale software installed no problem (just a drag and drop folder) however the credit card software blew up. (this is round two mind you. during the first bout i was informed by tech support that the version we have is so old that it's no longer supported so i have no help getting the old info over to the new version). The long and short is that the software is so dated, and the business information is long forgotten and i'm stuck. After a terrible hack on the modem we were back in business. As for that upgrade... it's brushed under the rug.

On a lighter note; Oliva's been kicking Angel more and more lately. It still feels like gas to me, but Angel says throughout the work day little Liv is pretty active.

On an even lighter note Angel got in a huge fight with the cat today. It was one of the funniest things i've seen in a while. The cat is smart enough to let Angel do what she wants and then once she's let the cat go she'll stalk and pounce until the two are running around screaming (angel that is). It put me in mind of Angel running around the house with an older Oliva during a snow-day.

I hope you can see this because i am doing it as hard as i can....

2007-02-12T20:04:00.001-05:00

This blogging crap is pissing me off. I have all of these good ideas to talk about when i'm stuck in traffic but when i goto write them down i got bupkis.

The puffer fish died this weekend. He's been looking awfully scraggly these past few weeks (supposed to be in brackish water) and i never bought salt to dump in there. He finally gave up to that big fishbowl in the sky.

The data center is coming along nicely with the new building. It still doesn't feel like a corporate site yet, but i think it's cause the cablers are in there burping and farting and i'm walking around in jeans and sneakers.

Angel and I have found a name for our little girl! Olivia Paige Nowicki. It's one of the ones that survived round two and it sounds even better now than it did the first time around. My mom thinks Paige sounds a little snooty, but i think as middle names go it's pretty fair. We could have gone with one of those weird names that really work the 'it's part of my name but only a few people know it because it's so atrocious.' So now we're trying to break the habit of saying, 'the baby this...' and 'the baby that...' We actually are just getting used to the fact that we're having a girl let alone a girl with a name. Lots of belly talk going on now.

WTF is going on with this snow? Angel drank all the milk last night so i went to Giant to get a gallon after work. Holy fuck! The parking lot was a disaster (sooo many old people out there in addition all the panicking idiots) and when i finally managed to battle my way to the milk isle what do i find? NO MILK. Well... that's not fair. There was about 5 gallons of 1% left. I wound up going to Food Lion and making fun of this black girl in line because she only got eggs in the face of a blizzard. Novel concept... she was *really* out of eggs. No snow storm induced buying frenzy.

bah-zu-tah!

2007-02-01T20:56:00.001-05:00

Passed my Citrix exam today... I needed a 67% to pass and guess what i got? Yep; you guessed it. A 67. I think i have a learning disorder... This was the first exam i've taken since i've graduated college and i tried to pay close attention to a few things.

Nothing makes you realize how much you didn't get it in college better than a real job. I have had a few encounters with academia since i started with Cowan and each time i realize a little bit more about why i didn't do so well in school. There was so much going on and i wasn't mature enough to stay in the right mindset for all the studying. So for this exam i've been really trying to keep my mind focused and on track and it was working... well, it was working right after vacation. About two weeks after i got back to work my mind fuzzed over and i was right back into my daily daze. I tackled the studying again pretty hard this month and could defiantly tell when i was having a good day or a bad day with the material. I'll come back to this later on because i'm too tired to give it a good explanation.

I had the test at Howard County Comm College around 10:30 today and it's been the first time i've been on a college campus for a looooong time. First there's the parking. There is none at 10:00am. After i was done parking at Columbia Mall and walking 5.8 miles to the campus i tried to find the library; wasn't too hard, but on my journey i had another realization that just didn't get it in college. Everyone was walking around with earphones on and their head down. No eye contact, no recognition, nothing. I smile at people everyday at work and say, 'good morning.' I mean it and i like the interaction. I never got it (outside my circle of friends) in college. I would rush to class with my head down just to get there. There is a certain kind of energy that a campus has though and i can say that i really liked being back.

I walked into the test center and the old lady who is in charge of proctoring the exams looks at me and say, 'You must be for a Prometric exam.' I was kind of startled that she thought i wasn't a student so i said, 'Don't tell me that i don't look like a student anymore.' The lady went on to explain that i had a look on my face (she said 'focused') that the normal people in the testing center didn't have. It sounds cheesy now, but the lady kept saying all the right things that made me believe there was something special about her. It's kind of like that kid in The Shining (before shit gets ill). That black guy told him that certain people 'shine' and although i wouldn't say it was all about ESP and mind reading, i'm convinced that certain people shine. I'll remember the conversation i had with that woman for the rest of my life.

But anyway... i passed the stupid exam. I'm not happy about my score. I'm disappointed given all the time i spent studying, but i learned a lot about myself and when it comes down to it i passed the exam. I feel much better now that it's over; i realize now how much i was stressed about this stupid thing.

Remind me to say something about the'Mooninite Takeover' Talk about funny...

Thar be gold in them hills

2007-01-27T08:46:00.001-05:00

My wife is amazing. There's no other way to say it. I get reminded every day about how we just click.

Last night we were at a friends house just hanging out and we started (me and Angel's friend) started arguing casually about how subcutaneous was defined. It was a lot of fun arguing back and forth but on the drive home i realized that Angel and I don't do that. We play around and act dumb, but we never have a long argument about something that was just thrown out there. Actually we don't argue about anything. I don't think i can explain how it works between us, but i'm just as happy believing that it's just not something we do. It's tiring anyway... who wants to constantly argue about the definitions of words?

And then there the similar mind sets. When we first started dating i would be going for my cell phone to text her something and just as i was walking for it (or even as i picked it up) it would beep with a message from her. Here lately we've been doing it with emails. I'll goto write one to her and as soon as i push send i notice that there's one from her sitting in my inbox. We usually just say "i love you" or "i miss you" but yesterday we both volunteered information on the same subject without even talking about it first. I wrote that i wasn't sure if i had class after work because of how many people were calling out and she was writing to ask how many people were in class that night.

Freaky, huh? I'm sure the skeptics out there wouldn't have a hard time dismissing simple coincidences, but they really mean something to me. I can't go a day without a little hint being dropped about how compatible i think we are. It makes me appreciate how lucky i was to have someone like her cross my path.

Howard Avenue

2007-01-24T20:53:00.001-05:00

You know why we haven't seen flying cars yet? Cause people are dumb. I'm not saying they're dumb for not buying them... i'm saying they are too stupid to drive them.

Take the toll booths for example. Have you ever seen someone bastardize something as bad as that person who gets into the EZ-Pass (i mean right in between the booths) and realize that they can't pay cash? I mean, you can see the EZ-Pass ONLY signs about a half mile before you actually have to start to even worry about what an EZ-Pass is. Even if you don't know what an EZ-Pass is the 'ONLY' part should tip you off that there might be an exception to that lane and you should steer clear. And that's only leading up to the plaza. What happens when the person starts to freak out because there's no person in the booth. Reverse here we come; or better yet the inevitable stop and wait for someone. Look... stopping doesn't do anything. You might not get a ticket, but how the hell do you plan on getting to the other side? But i digress...

I was in a BMW the other day (not anything special, just your plain BMW) and i noticed that the arm rest in between the front seats is a social engineering marvel. It folds up so you can get to the space underneath, but it gets better. The top of the arm rest (while it's down) opens to reveal a place to put coins, keys, dumped sodas, etc. Only... get this... it won't open while the armrest is in the up position. It's like someone took the time to make an armrest that won't let you spill your shit out while it's in the upright position. Amazing.

Can you imagine a similar evolution of an armrest in an american car? Someone said, 'lets put in an armrest with a section to put change or keys,' and it was so. They soon found out that when you tilted the thing up it dropped all of your change out. This is where the two companies change paths. The american car company decides that instead of over engineering an armrest they just make it so you can't move it. Violia! Problem solved... and cases like this validate my point. Our society is engineered for the lowest common denominator.

Here's one of my inventions in Daveville. You know when you're sitting at a stop light and you're 10 cars back? The light turns green and you don't see any movement. It takes 2 or3 lights before you can get through. My idea: the first couple of car lengths before the light is made with those people mover conveyor belts they have in airports. The light turns green and BAM instant movement. You know why we'll never see them? Imagine that learning curve. It's too much trouble to train people so it just gets brushed under the rug and we forgo the luxury of whatever it is that was supposed to make our lives better.

I'll have to remind myself to explain Daveville next week. I've got a killer plan for making better drivers.

Stack or cluster?

2007-01-22T19:21:00.001-05:00

So i've been reading my buddy wickchad's blog and it's got my gears turning. I used to keep a journal, but that was just gay. Here lately i've been doing some self-motivating, and it just seems important that i get my thoughts down. My boss is going through a mid-life crisis so i get that song and dance at work, and there's a co-worker that is just completely lazy and still gets credit when he decides to work and do something noticeable once a week. But that's material for another blog.

I'm writing because i need a captive audience. I want to express myself, or make a point, or just ramble about nothing in hopes of getting somewhere and feel like the person i'm talking to realizes the points i want them to. That's not me saying you are going to understand me, but there's nothing better than talking to myself (which is pretty much what i'm doing) to reassure me my audience is understanding me. And, well if i get noticed and become famous good for me.

Back to what i was saying. I am not going to turn into some whiney emo bitch kid who thinks everyone hates them. I'm going to say stupid things that sometimes don't make any sense to anyone but me. If you don't like it feel free to criticize... what? There's no strike through text option? This is going to suck. I was going to strike through 'to criticize' and write 'eat my ass.' It's just not half as funny... humpf.